Over the last few months, performative males have taken over our social media feeds. What was originally a call out of virtue-signalling men has come full circle and is now a satirical meme to mock Gen Z men that lean too far into a certain aesthetic in an attempt to appeal to women.
This archetype gained mainstream popularity following viral videos of performative male contests first held in New York City and San Francisco but the trend quickly spread internationally with contests being held in Jakarta, Sydney and even right here in KL.
The KL performative male contest and its winner (right)
But what exactly does it mean to be a performative male? And what does this trend reveal about the world we live in today?
What is a Performative Male?
As the name implies, a performative male is a man who puts on a performance, adopting specific hobbies and traits while projecting himself as having progressive views not out of genuine interest, but instead to seek the romantic validation of or even to manipulate women.
Hallmarks of a performative male
The performative male can often be spotted sipping matcha at his favourite hidden-gem cafe, while playing ‘Juno’ by Clairo through his wired earphones—clearly demonstrating his taste for the finer things in life. He’s also catching up on some reading, most likely feminist works by Sally Rooney or Sylvia Plath (you can tell because he’s not so subtly flexing the book cover). On top of that, he adopts interests popular among women; strike up a conversation with him and you’ll learn all about his Labubu collection, what today’s horoscope is, and the skincare brand he swears by.
Although the term itself is new, the archetype it describes is not. His inclination towards alternative styles is similar to that of the hipster or softboy of the 2010s and if he was a woman, his insistence on being different from “all the other guys” would cause him to be branded as a pick me girl.
What sets the performative male apart from these other variants is that he places a greater emphasis on embracing his feminine side—painting his nails and is unafraid of being emotionally vulnerable—while also adamantly voicing his support of women and feminist values. Menstrual cramps? He absolutely detests them. On your period? Don’t worry, he always carries spare pads in his tote bag.
On the surface, all these things sound relatively harmless. So why is everyone wary of the performative male?
Tale as Old as Time
Even though the definition of performative is pretty overarching—gender, social media, most of our lives is performative—the main critique of the performative male is not that he is performing, but rather what his performance entails.
Social media has always been about performing—from selecting which pictures to post, to thinking of a captivating caption, to topping it off with a song that’s well-liked but not too mainstream—a lot of thought is put into curating an image you want others to view you as. Though there is fun in creating an online persona, it begs the question of authenticity. Subcultures are reduced to merely an aesthetic, identified solely through visuals, as it’s easier to convey through a visual-focused sharing platform than personality or genuine interest.
In the context of the performative male, it has notably become a subject of mockery due to its similarity with pickup artists and softboys, neither of which were particularly well liked during the peak of their existence. Though they are obnoxious in very different manners, the similarity lies in appearing a certain way with the ulterior motive of gaining favour from women, usually with the goal of a romantic or sexual relationship.
This has naturally led to women’s increased distrust towards the intentions of men; however this time around, as internet culture has already experienced the likes of pickup artists, hipsters, and softboys (in that order), its most recent rebranding isn’t fooling anyone—not even other men! As can be observed from the amount of satirical performative male content online being uploaded by other men, as well as their enthusiastic participation in performative male contests.
The Myth of Masculinity
The danger in othering performative males, however, is that we are further reinforcing outdated views on gender roles. When we label men who present a less conventional version of masculinity as performative males, this implies the existence of non-performative males, that being men who conform to hegemonic ideas of manhood.
It’s unlikely this term was coined with malicious intent, but it does carry the connotation that traditional masculinity is the default, while anything which deviates from it is unnatural. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth as there is no fixed definition of what constitutes a man.
Gender has always been performative; the distinction between men and women on the basis of behaviour and social roles is learned rather than innate.
To put things into perspective, when a woman wears a skirt it is universally accepted as normal, whereas when a man does the same he is seen as unusual and draws criticism of not being “manly” enough—such was the case for Harry Styles when he posed in a gown on the cover of Vogue magazine’s December 2020 issue.
However, there is no biological basis for why women can wear this garment and men can’t—it’s not like the Y chromosome bars men from wearing skirts. The only reason we impose this rule on ourselves is because we’ve been socialised to do so.
The indeterminacy of gender is further proven by its inconsistent interpretation across different cultures. Continuing with the example of men wearing skirts, this behaviour is actually widely practised in various parts of the world: sarongs are commonly worn by men in southeast Asian cultures while Scottish men wear kilts as part of their traditional Highland dress.
Clearly, masculinity is much more fluid than we have been taught to believe and the performative male is simply the latest product of an ever changing construct. Alpha males, gym bros, and male manipulators are also archetypes of men defined by their toxicity but unlike performative males, their authenticity is not called to question because they align with the predominant expectations of how men behave.
Even beyond gender, the way we act changes based on setting and who we interact with. For instance, there’s a difference between the way we carry ourselves at work versus at home or when we talk to someone new compared to a friend we’ve known for years. In the case of performative males, adjusting our behavior and appearance to seem more attractive to the opposite gender is hardly a new concept. Sure, the performative male may be putting on a show, but aren’t we all?
This is especially relevant today as the manosphere continues to assert its influence on the conversation surrounding manhood and gender roles. By painting non-traditional masculinity in a negative light and treating it with skepticism, we are inadvertently validating the conservative sentiment that men should only act a certain way.
At the same time, shaming performative males discourages men from exploring more feminine forms of self expression and upholds the same toxic masculinity preached by figures in the manosphere while reinforcing the patriarchal notion that femininity is inferior to masculinity.
Moving Forward
In recent decades, the feminist movement has gained much more attention. Coupled with the growing prominence of the manosphere, awareness on the social and systemic issues faced by women has become more widespread.
Unsurprisingly, many young men do not want to be viewed as the perpetrators of misogyny, so they present themselves in a way that makes their stance abundantly clear—resulting in the performative male.
Even the most well-intentioned men are still flawed and not immune to bias, but if we wish to have constructive conversations about sexism and bring about real change, it would be unproductive to antagonise every man who shows interest in feminist theory by labelling them as performative. After all, social justice movements have historically benefited from the allyship of privileged individuals leveraging their power to uplift oppressed groups.
Written By: Serene Ching and Sera
Edited By: Sherman
