As the sun dropped from the semi-permanent wintry sky, shadows dropped over Khaachylaana, cloaking her in darkness. The wind whispered, the cold air biting through her furs with razor-sharp teeth into her skin, and in the distance, wolves howled. Neither the cold nor the threat of predators prowling around worried her, though. How could they? 

She had just lost her world. 

First, her Aata, along with half the village’s men, had been taken by a swarm of brutes wearing the same clothes and carrying the acrid smell of gunfire and blood. They were told they had to fight in the war, that they would gain glory and money to bring home for their families. 

That was the last they saw of them. The whole tribe had waited, temporarily giving up their nomadic ways to wait desperately in the same area, looking every day for the same monster that their loved ones left in, a monster that belched smoke and growled harshly and gratingly, waiting for their fathers, their sons, their husbands. Laana remembered the day it came back, but it came alone. Not a single one of them came back.

She remembered that day, when Aana dropped to the ground, one voice amongst the collective wails echoing through the encampment. There wasn’t a single person who didn’t have a loved one amongst those who’d left for the war. 

Laana didn’t think things could get any worse, but then her Aana fell sick. It was the Abasy, they said; malevolent spirits who roamed the earth, waiting to attack the living out of anger for having what they themselves didn’t have anymore. Laana had watched helplessly as her mother grew weaker and weaker week by week, until eventually she grew too weak to breathe, and took her last breath just two nights ago. Left alone, Laana was lost. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to move on?

Since her death, Laana had sat by the edge of the lake, a spot where her Aana visited every year, and was now to be the final resting place for her body. With sadness, she recalled a memory of a time long past, where they’d sat together by the lake. 

“A hidden wonderland full of life,” Aana had smiled.  “The silence may deceive you, but if you pay attention, there’s so much going on.”

“There’s nothing but wind and snow,” a young Laana had protested, squirming from boredom. “Can we go back? Aata told me the men caught a buffalo today so we’ll have a feast and the Baabai will tell us stories around the campfire.”

Aana had only chuckled at her daughter’s impatience, ruffling her hair. “Okay, let’s go back, my little bear. One day you’ll see that there is more to life than the eye can see and the stomach can feel.”

Now, all Laana had left was a desolate place her mother loved, but still she couldn’t see what it was that Aana had been attracted to. All she could feel was the overwhelming swamp of memories they had. For their people, home was not a place, it was all about the people. Without her parents, Laana had lost her home. It seemed as if the Abasy had done all they could to curse her family and take everything away from her.

Caught up in her grief, Laana almost didn’t hear the sound of soft shuffling in the snow behind her. “Kuochka,” came the gentle raspy voice of her grandmother. “Come, it is time for the final rites.”

Her grandmother led her to the centre of the encampment, where the whole village had gathered in silence to mourn the loss of their healer. In the middle of it all stood the village shaman, a wizened man with a grave countenance, next to her mother’s body, which was clothed in the traditional garments.

“Today we gather here to give Khaarchaana the final rites and to cut off any curses the Abasy may have placed so that it will not carry on to her family. We will do that by seeking the blessings of the Aiyy. During the ritual, relatives of the deceased will go through a trance, and there they will seek the guidance of their ancestors as well as meet the Aiyy.”

The shaman began the ritual, and the air was filled with the rhythmic sounds of drumbeats and chanting. Laana stared at the rich colours that enveloped her mother, filled with more scepticism than belief. Sure, it may not have been the work of the Abasy that killed her Aata, but if whatever it was could take both her parents, what would one ritual do?

Before she knew it, led by the beats and the shaman’s hypnotic dance, Laana found herself in her family tent. Only, it wasn’t like how it was the past few days. There, she saw a room of people she didn’t recognise, save for 3 people: her Baabai, Aata, and Aana.

Sobbing, she threw herself into their arms. They didn’t say anything but she could feel the love in the embrace. There were a hundred things she wanted to ask them, but she was willing to not ask them if it meant that she could enjoy their presence just a little longer. Finally, they took a step back.

“Go in peace, Khaachylaana,” they, along with her other relatives, said in one voice.

“I don’t want to,” she whispered. “I can’t leave you behind, I can’t go on alone.”

“You are never alone. We will always watch over you.”

“But I miss you all so much. I didn’t spend enough time with you, I can’t live without you-”

Khaarchaana took a step closer to her daughter. “Oh, little bear, death comes for us all. It’s never easy to learn to live without the people we love, but it’s a part of life. Although maybe I left you earlier than expected, death would’ve come for me sooner or later, but that doesn’t rob us of the time and memories we had together. Time is both our greatest blessing and our greatest curse, it just depends how you see it. Either way, you need to find a balance between the two so that you can heal. Don’t let my death be the reason you lose the light in your life. You’re strong, little bear, because of your love. Let it carry you and help you to find the strength to live.”

Khaarchaana gave her a final hug before letting go, and everyone faded away, only to be replaced by a place akin to the woods their tribe passed through every year. The woods were revered as a sacred ground for their people, but this place was… different. More vibrant, with more energy. Snow weighed heavily on trees, causing them to bow, sunlight sparkling through the gaps between them.

As Laana trod carefully through the glade, taking special care not to do anything that might offend the spirits that lived in the area, she felt a sense of peace settling down on her. It was as if her internal turmoil was being squashed down and thrown to the back of her mind. It was after walking for a brief while that she came across him. A person, yet not. He wore a fine cloak that looked impossible to keep him warm, yet he radiated life. He was, literally, luminous. Staring at her with serene eyes, he gazed kindly at her as if it’d been waiting to meet her but was in no rush to do anything. It was one of the Aiyy; benevolent spirits that gave blessings to those that sought them out.

She approached the Aiyy slowly, unsure what to do in this situation.

“Noble Aiyy, I pay you my greatest respects. I come to you with an open heart and humbly request that you help me remove the curse on my family and let my Aana’s soul rest in peace.”

The Aiyy smiled, amused. “Khaachylaana, your heart is not open. It is closed off with grief and anger. You do not think it fair that we did not step in to save your mother.”

“I-“

“Do not fear, you will not be punished for such emotions; it is not our nature to do so. You have our blessing of health, love, and peace, but you must choose to use it. Find a way to balance the positives and negatives in your life, or you will be vulnerable to the Abasy once again.”

At a loss, Laana stared at the Aiyy, before blurting. “I don’t know how to start.”

“You might not, but your heart does. Soon, the time will come, and you must follow your heart, or you will be lost.”

With that, the Aiyy disappeared, and Laana once again found herself in a different setting, only this was familiar. The shaman stood in front of her, his eyes boring into her.

“What did you see?” he questioned, but she was in no mood to explain anything to him.

Rattled by the events in her trance, she left the camp and started walking, her destination unknown. She ruminated on what the Aiyy said, and realised what it said was true. She was angry. She was upset that no one saved her mother, upset that her father was taken from her, upset with herself, for not being able to do anything. She hated that the Abasy had taken her mother from her. She wanted to do something, anything, to let out this rage. 

“Where are you going, kuo?” came a mocking voice. Laana’s head snapped up, the hair on the back of her neck tingling. Without realising, she’d arrived at the edge of a dark forest. 

A dark, monstrous figure melted from the shadows, its fingers long and claw-like. It grinned at her viciously, sizing her up just as a predator looked at their prey.

“That smell… I tasted the terror of someone like that before. Oh, how sweet it was. One of a kind. Though I wonder if your terror will taste the same. Perhaps you would be so kind as to let me taste you?” 

Its smile grew wide, revealing pointed teeth that could probably tear through her flesh with little resistance. With growing horror, Laana realised that she was face-to-face with an Abasy, and not just any Abasy, but the one who’d cursed her mother. Although she was terrified, she refused to give in. She’d wanted a place to channel her rage, and now she was faced with the very thing that had torn her world apart.

“I think not, thank you very much.”

“Why not? I would only be helping you to meet the family you miss so dearly. Just give in, give me a taste, and you will be happy with them.”

Laana tried to punch it, but her fist passed through thin air, and the Abasy laughed.

“Oh, foolish girl, you can’t hurt me. You see, all things you can do? I can do it better. It is, quite literally, my domain of expertise.”

With growing fear, Laana tried a flurry of attacks, all to no avail. As she continued, she felt the invasive presence of despair and terror, emotions that she realised weren’t hers but rather was the Abasy trying to overwhelm her.

“Go on, keep trying, your terror will only make the final taste even better.”

That was when understanding finally dawned on her. 

Her negative emotions would only feed it. What she needed was to counter it with the positive energy the Aiyy talked about. She forced herself to take a few deep breaths, and focused on memories of her mother and the blessings given to her by the Aiyy. She pushed aside the terror that kept trying to invade every corner of her mind and instead reached for the peace she was promised. She focused on her last conversation with her Aana. Death does not take away the precious time they had together. Yes, she could grieve over how the time with her parents was cut short and the curse placed on her Aana, but every moment she’d spent with her family was a blessing filled with memories and love. The more that realisation settled into her, the more she felt at peace and found herself accepting her mother’s death. 

Sensing the shift in her, the Abasy hissed, realising that she was no longer an easy target. It attacked her viciously with violent emotions, but this time, none of it got to her. Finding that it could not gain a foothold in her, it slunk away, growling and spitting.

Tracing back her steps, Laana trekked back in a daze until she recognised the area she was in. She sat next to where her mother was buried and gazed at the frozen lake. In the silence, she finally realised what her mother loved so much about the place. Now that she wasn’t in a rush to go anywhere, she noticed the small signs of life: rustling branches where owls fluttered in the trees, shadows under the ice where the fish moved, and the distant snapping of twigs where animals moved around.

After sitting there till it was near dawn, Laana walked back to the encampment, where her tribesmen fussed over her, wrapping her in a blanket and leading her to a fire. Enveloped by the love of her tribesmen, she relaxed in the assurance that things would one day be alright. Maybe not now, maybe not in a month, but time would eventually help her heal.


This story is based loosely off the beliefs and practices of the Yakuts people who primarily live in the Republic of Sakha.

By Marinella Lotte

Edited by: Ryan

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