echo It’s now or never
As a representative of Gen\ Z I will proudly announce that we are the most delulu(delusional) generation ever.
Let me start by asking this question: Are you happy with your life?
Our time is crammed with huge blocks of activities that suck the very essence of our spirit. In the gaps of our bustling lives, naggy thoughts come knocking. They yell out all the concerns and stresses we have accumulated throughout the day. In today’s demanding society, it’s easy to be stuck in a cycle of business and stress, to the point where we forget to give our poor bodies a chance to properly breathe. And no, the so-called “relaxation” techniques of scrolling on social media are not counted, especially when they leave you even more exhausted than before. It’s no surprise how mental health illnesses like depression are surpassing its limits year by year. More people are reporting feeling tired, stressed, unhappy and overall unsatisfied with their life. All the other generations are pointing fingers at our generation being the most mentally ill.
So what is the solution? How can we become more happy when we will inevitably have to encounter challenge after challenge in the game of life?
This boils down to the title of this article- Gratitude.
Noooooo not again!
Now, now. I know what you are thinking. We’ve all heard it from our seniors: baby boomers, millennials and our parents (Most likely Generation X) highly recommend we give it a try. It can be pretty annoying when they keep saying that. But if it’s echoed a lot, and many people recommend it… well, most likely it does work. Take a step back and hear me out:
Most of our unhappiness is usually found in the past, or in the future. Bad things happen, and from then on we subconsciously want to defend ourselves from those bad things happening again. Anxiety is the root of all our stress, keeping us alert for future misfortunes. Meanwhile, guilt haunts us for the bad things that we did in the past. When we are busy, we are focused on the task at hand, which sets us apart from the dimension of the present.
Gratitude is what connects us to the true present. Through gratitude, we become more appreciative of what we own and have, which leads to better satisfaction in life. The more grateful we are, the more those simple satisfactions accumulate to turn our lives downside up. Will it solve all your problems? No. But it will put them in a different light.
We can be another form of delulu- We can be the generation that remains happy in the darkest of times, no matter the circumstances or problems surrounding us. We just know it will be fine.
Sometimes, a mindset shift is in order to view those moments in a better light. The mind chooses what to interpret. It’s easier to be grateful when we change how we think:
The biggest takeaway: Awareness of you. Awareness of your surroundings. Awareness of reality- things are way better than they seem.
We always look back at the good old days of our childhood. Back then, there was no need to worry about the next exam coming up, or how to lose more weight. Back then, life was simple because we were living in the moment.
It is often the simplest things that offer the brightest of smiles. We have lacked the ability to pay attention to these simple pleasures because of the mosquitos that swarm our heads. By mosquitos, I mean the distractions in life that make you unfocused.
A good starting point to kill these mosquitoes is to just stop reading this. Yeah, stop reading this and look around you for a minute. Try to absorb everything around you not just by what you are seeing, but also what you can hear, smell, touch and taste. Activate the power of your five senses. With heightened senses, you can start looking inward too. You can see the thoughts in your head like they are just another projection. Do not entertain those thoughts. Acknowledge them just as they are: thoughts. Imagine yourself as just another figure witnessing the present moment like it is just another TV show- you are the observer, enjoying what the show presents to you. Congratulations: You have just stayed grounded in the present.
As for me- sitting here, 7:20am, writing this. I know I am surrounded by luxurious beauty. There is a radiant ball of light from the horizon that has just risen from its slumber, its golden rays of light basking our campus with golden shimmers. Such beauty that lies right in front of my eyes, soothes my soul. I feel as if I am channelling the power of the sun for a rare moment in today’s society: Absolute peace.
Too unrelatable? You can enter the present dimension anytime, anywhere. How about when having a nice chat with your friends after a long day of work, or when you are playing badminton with your friends or family? Otherwise, something indoors; Like immersing yourself in your favourite anime, sitting in the comforts of your transport waiting for your destination, lying in bed with a soft pillow cushioning your head, and a bolster to hug as you settle in for the day…. Need I say more? We can still embrace our childlike spirit of just enjoying the now. And by being more present, we become more attentive of what is surrounding us. Thus achieving a sense of gratitude for the littlest of moments. We are removed from our lightning-like lives, placed into tranquil moments of happiness.
Love vs Attachment
With awareness, it’s easier to be aware of the differences between love and attachment. When you are attached, you hook yourself to a certain concept you can hardly let go. Take toxic Asian idol culture as an example. We have the fans who creepily attach themselves to their idol, resorting to methods such as stalking or even harassment of the idol when things don’t go their ideal way. Love and attachment do overlap to a certain degree, but they do have their differences. The biggest difference is that love leads to gratitude, attachment leads to ingratitude.
Attachment deludes the mind into amplifying the beauty of that certain thing. Taking the idol example again, most of these crazy fans are often just craving the desire of true affection from others. To them, making real love with their surrounding peers can be difficult. Hence, they resort to idols that are often painted in brilliant pictures to become their own lovers. Their fantasies, desperation and creepy behaviour are rooted in the fear of leaving these idols behind. They aren’t attached to the idols per say, more on the attachment of admiration and love, which makes them feel fulfilled.
If you truly love something, you would be ok with leaving things behind, because you appreciate them as they are. This leads to gratitude. By being attached, you demand for more of what you are soon to be separated from, leading to an investment into a painful season of grief. After all, nothing is ever permanent in this game of life.
Are any of you in a relationship? Here’s a self reflection exercise for you: do you love your partner, or are you attached to your lover, or maybe even attached to a version of your lover you are unaware of? For those who are single, look at the things and people you love and think, do you really love it/them or are you just attached to it/them? Learning how to let go is an entirely different bubble in itself. And since almost everyone now is developing the attention span of a goldfish, I’ll have to stop this here. But there are several methods out there to reduce attachment. If you think you have this problem, I highly recommend you check them out.
I don’t ignore the problems. I either address them or accept them as it is.
Our problems in life don’t go away no matter how many gratitude exercises we do. As humans, there’s always that tint of dissatisfaction beneath the surface of our comfortable lives.
It’s not enough to be grateful, let alone forcing it. What I mean is how easily one can use gratitude as a tool for toxic positivity. It’s easy to say, “Everything is fine, at least I’m not in poverty or dying in war or whatever’s out there”, and ignore your inner feelings of frustration. This is a terrible version of delulu- we are essentially lying to ourselves. It acts as a bottle to swallow up our emotions. Eventually, when the rain pours in heavy downfalls, certain outbursts may occur, leaving you feeling guilty for the outburst and then swallowing your emotions yet again beating yourself over it…. The cycle repeats. I can see you readers trying to hide your guiltiness. No worries, this happens to even the best of us.
Being grateful means accepting that these unsatisfying entities will always haunt us and never make us happy. But without these bad events, if we were truly happy with everything, what use would it be to be grateful? With these problems, the things that truly matter shine brighter than ever. Acceptance takes time, but eventually the mind does what it has to do- embrace it. Then, we can be less delulu.
Practical tips
Some simple ways to practise gratitude
Ok these “mindset” things are all good but like, what can I actually do? Like any skill, gratitude takes practice. Start now. Here’s a few simple steps:
- Take out a piece of paper and write down five things you appreciate about your life at the moment. It can be the simplest of things like the ability to listen to music or something deeply personal. There is no need to worry about whether these things are “truly appreciative”, overthinking it will just lead to mental exhaustion, which makes gratitude less fun. Just write down the first few things in mind.
- Too busy? You can just say things in your head. The best thing about gratitude is that you can do this anytime, anywhere. Just take a breath from your work once in a while and you can start enjoying the moment.
- Note down (Physically or mentally) How you feel after that exercise. If this simple exercise makes you smile, you are on the right track. If it doesn’t, it’s alright. Perhaps the mood hasn’t been set.
- Repeat this for a few days until eventually it comes naturally.
This is just the simplest of methods. Everyone has their own version of practising gratitude. Leaning towards writing, starting a journal is p If writing is too much of a hassle, consider expressing gratitude to the people you love. Give them a compliment once in a while, or you can indirectly show gratitude by being their best buddy. You have to promise to never give them up, to never let them down, never turn around and desert them~~~
Your expressions of gratitude will make them feel loved, something all humans crave in this individually-isolated society, and they will feel more grateful for you. Two birds with one stone.
Fake it ‘till you make it, from lvl 1 to lvl 999
We are subjected to our own happiness. Life is too short to ever be unhappy. We don’t have to wait for happiness to come to us, we can just embrace what we have. We may be delulu now, but ever heard of the phrase, “Fake it ‘till we make it”? If we delulu enough, combined with many actionable steps, we can actually be happy. Success will turn into reality through the right actions. So before you go crying about how much your life sucks, or continue to numb those feelings through the dopamine rush of the Internet, take a step back and just look around. Remember where your very existence stands: in the now. Give that poor neck a rest and chill out, think of what’s happened in the past few days and the things that warm your heart. Congratulations! You just practised your first gratitude exercise. Keep it up.
Things to be grateful about:
Everything you have lol 😉 Because one day it will be gone. Best you can do is appreciate it.
Written by: Lee Ann
Edited by: Zhen Li
