echo Jamie’s high school experience can be described in two words: Whispers and Wars. There are some who trudge through mud and blood just to make it to the last period alive, then there are gossipers who spread the words like wildfires on a battlefield. And then there is Jamie, or perhaps a few others like Jamie who keep their heads down and pray that they do not get caught in this ugly scheme.
Written below are the rules Jamie has gathered throughout the years he’s a student in Mansfield High that will help anyone who comes across this guidebook to survive their high school, unscathed.
1. Keep Your Head Down
“Eyes on your desk, heart in your throat, what you can’t see can’t hurt you”
Eyes down. That’s the first rule.
You don’t look up. Not when someone’s metal bottle falls with an ear-piecing CLANK, that echoes like gunfire. Don’t look up at the screeching of chairs against tiles during lunch hour. And especially not at Charlie’s whimpers, his voice so frail and thin it’s barely there, like glass tethering on the edge of a table.
If just so happens that the sound involves a skull being crushed against lockers, a water bucket being dumped, screaming, crying, mocking, keep the voices threatening to break through at the back of your throat. As your breath hitches and your eyes quiver, keep your head down and your eyes straight.
For the moment you lift your eyes and meet the menacing blue orbs of Sergeant and his squad,
Congratulations! You’ve become Charlie.
And no one wants to be Charlie.
2. Mind Your Own Business
“Even when other people’s business is screaming for help”
Before you judge yourself for being ignorant, or in this case, an insensitive jerk, for not helping. What can you do to help? That is the question.
“Just say something!”
“Tell them to stop!”
Well, will you push Sergeant away from Charlie with your frail, flimsy arms? Will you slam Sergeant into a wall and stutter out a tiny ‘s-s-stop’? Or will you take Charlie’s place and become an eyesore for everyone in the school? To become an annoying mosquito with a needle-like whine that buzzes around people’s ears until eventually, you are slapped to death in their palms.
There is nothing you can do to help.
After all, Sergeant is unstoppable. He wears his family name like a medal around his neck, governing others into obedience. Sergeant holds the whistle to his three guard dogs, and his dogs, in turn, keep us in our line. While Charlie, in the midst of this, falls prey to Sergeant. No one knows why it’s Charlie, maybe because he flinched first back in freshman year, when Sergeant was just a boy with a last name too big for him, or maybe his silence in a cage filled with hyenas, begged to be shattered. Either way, you don’t want to be Charlie.
So, before you wedge yourself in between Sergeant and his plaything, know your place and stay in your place.
3. Pretend It Doesn’t Bother You
“A shove is just ‘playing’, words are just ‘jokes’, silence is just ‘peace’”
Ignore his cries.
Ignore the scars on his arms and legs.
Ignore the way his eyes reach out to you in hopes of the tiniest bit of warmth. A hand to help him up, a genuine smile that doesn’t turn into a crooked grin, a hug that doesn’t hurt. What Charlie wants is only the simplest of gestures from a friend, gestures that you fail to give.
Tell yourself it’s not your problem, that even if his cries follow you home, clawing and thrashing in your head like a bird waiting to be let loose of its cage, you don’t have to care. No one else cared when Charlie was dragged across the hallway by his collars, or when he was forced to dump trash on his head for the ‘views’. No one cares as long as Charlie still comes to school every day because that means they won’t be the next target. No one else cares so why should you?
Is it because of your guilty conscience? Your petty sense of justice and heroism? Those things are a mere imagination, images you conjure in your head, images of you acting strong and brave in your little reality you hoped to be true. You with your shoulders pulled back and your chest up high, standing face-to-face with the almighty Sergeant.
“Let him go,” you said.
As if Sergeant will finally see you for who you are, promises to come back for you next time, and scamper away with his tail tucked between his legs. As if everyone would cheer for your act of heroism that finally saves this school from Sergeant’s barbaric reign.
Instead, you sit in your chair, arms tucked between your thighs and watch as Charlie bites his tongue to keep himself from whimpering out of pain. You let these dogs growl and sink their teeth into his flesh. You let the others film Charlie at his most vulnerable moments and post it online for views and likes.
You let it all happen because you are not the hero you imagine yourself to be.
4. Laugh When They Laugh
“The more they laugh, the more followers they get”
When Sergeant cracks a joke, you laugh.
Laugh during the school assembly when Charlie is called up on stage to receive a Class Role Model award. Laugh when they photoshop Charlie’s face onto a rat’s body and post it on Instagram with the caption: ‘Rat King takes the crown!!”.
Laugh like the others do, vile, venomous barking sounds that slither through the hallway. Laugh until the joke wraps itself around your throat, constricting your airways and burning your lungs, because laughter is your armour. And if you don’t, they will notice. And then they’ll start asking questions like:
“Why aren’t you laughing?”
“Why do you keep looking down?”
“Why are your fists clenched?”
“Why are you sweating so much?”
It is because…
5. Don’t Tell Anyone
“If you don’t rock the boat, nothing changes. But if you do, everyone hates you.”
Everyone knows the Anti-Bullying campaign is a lie.
Once, Mrs. Harrison came into your class and briefed you about the school’s newly implemented Anti-Bullying campaign. She talked about mandatory ‘student behavior correction’ workshops every Wednesday. Then, she gave a speech on how bullying is something that should not be taken lightly, and how any sort of bullying in her school is strictly prohibited and will not be tolerated. Mrs. Harrison seemed to glow like the flickering flame of a lit candle during a power outage. That’s what she looked like to you. To Charlie.
And that’s all it takes for you to be seated opposite Mrs. Harrison in her office. Behind her, the words ‘Education for Peace, Equity and Respect for One Another’ shone through like a national flag on a soldier’s uniform. You remind yourself that is what you’re fighting for and tell her everything about the horrors you’ve seen, the terror Sergeant and his squad inflict upon Charlie and the rest of us. You tell her about the bullying, the oppression and the unfairness of it all.
When you’re done, you breathe a sigh of relief thinking that’s how you can finally help Charlie.
She nodded. She looked sad. And then, she said,
“Have you ever tried ignoring them?”
“…”
6. Blame The Victim For Not Fighting Back
“If they’d wanted help, they’d ask… right?”
That’s right! Maybe Charlie doesn’t want your help at all. He has never reached out to you for help back then, he does not reach out to you now, perhaps because he does not need help.
Maybe he doesn’t care that Sergeant wants his head, maybe the both of them are simply joking and playing around. Maybe all of this is just an act or an inside joke between the two of them. Perhaps, reporting Sergeant is a wrong move
Sergeant’s family is, after all, the reason this school has air-conditioned classrooms and a multi-purpose hall used for all our morning assemblies and ceremonies. Of course, Charlie would have no problem with Sergeant pulling off a small trick or two. Plus, this has been going on for a long time, which means Charlie must be used to it by now… right? Right?
If he does need help, he would’ve said so.
7. Assume Someone Else Would Fix It
For a record, there are thirty students in your class, and if you leave out Sergeant, Charlie and all of those who support Sergeant, there would still be another six students who can stop this. Six is not a lot, but it is enough for one of them to stand up for Charlie. And that person does not have to be you.
Alex, for instance, is pretty well-respected among peers for his undeniably insane manoeuvre and skills in a game of dodgeball. He could most definitely throw a dodgeball in Sergeant’s face if he ever messes with Charlie again.
Rachel is everything a teacher looks for in a student, she never misses a deadline, answers all of the teacher’s questions, and no one dares to get on the wrong side of her. Some say her family owns as many if not more buildings than that of Sergeant’s. All in all, she can and has the power to stop this tyranny.
On the other hand, you’re just a mere countryside boy with a head too big for it to be good and a heart too timid to make your dreams come true. You don’t have a last name to make a difference nor a gut brave enough to see it through. That’s why Mrs. Harrison dismissed you like a fly on her sandwich.
8. Wait Until It’s Real Trouble
What does it take for you, or someone else, to finally snap? A bruise, perhaps? Permanent scars? Until Charlie is admitted into the hospital?
Certainly, a cut won’t go unnoticed. It has to be enough for someone to take action, for the teachers to stop defending Sergeant, and for others to be afraid. A drop of blood on Sergeant’s hands. That’s all it takes for his facade to crumble, for his eyes to widen just enough to know that he’s scared. For his laugh to sound forced and strained and for him to take the slightest step backward, away from Charlie.
And then… Then, you can extend your hand towards Charlie and help him up to his feet.
For now, you wait.
9. Deny, Deflect, Disappear
“Was it peace, or just quiet suffering?”
When they point their fingers at you for being the one who snitched on Sergeant, deny it. Convince them that you don’t even dare to have the guts to look Sergeant in the eyes, much less bring this case in front of a teacher. Then, nominate one of Sergeant’s sidekicks to take the blame. Do anything to make sure you’re not the one at the sharp end of a sword. After that, while everyone looks at Hunter with the biggest shock and betrayal plastered on their faces, you disappear. You run like hell out of that classroom, away from that school and never come back.
Yes… yes, indeed, that is what you will do.
That is how you survive.
10. Don’t Break The Rules
“True peace is not merely the absence of tension, it is the presence of justice” – Martin Luther King Jr.
Now, all you have to do is follow these rules.
Follow these rules, Jamie. As long as you follow them, you won’t find yourself in trouble, ever, You’ll get to keep your peace, like you’ve always wanted.
—
For years, you abide by the rules. You kept your head down, you laughed with them, and you pretended not to care. You tell yourself it’s not your problem, that Charlie doesn’t need your help. You pray day and night that someone will step in and fix all of this.
But rules are just words scribbled onto a piece of paper. And words can be erased.
One day, you do look up.
And you do see how Sergeant slammed Charlie’s face into a locker, hard enough for blood to trickle down from Charlie’s nose. When their laughter rings out, as if a badly tuned orchestra, and when Charlie’s blood is smeared against the metal lockers like a grotesque painting, you see the cameras start recording. The number of views shows one hundred to ten thousand in seconds while thousands of heart-shaped ‘likes’ seemed to distort and morph into crooked grins.
This time you don’t look away.
Your hands shake, you feel sweat staining your forehead and your palms, every breath feels like someone is crushing your lungs, but you take a step forward.
“Stop.”
One word. It is soft, even a little shaky, but it sliced through the noise like a knife.
Sergeant turns around, “What did you just say?”
Your knees feel weak. Every nerve in your body is begging for you to run. Still, you stand.
“I said stop”
Silence.
Then, laughter.
But you don’t laugh with them, instead, you shove past Sergeant towards Charlie.
And for the first time, you hold Charlie’s hand.
Final note:
Rules are meant to keep you safe. However, sometimes safety is just another word for cowardice. You might believe that ignoring the problems around you and turning a blind eye on unfairness is how you keep your peace. That as long as you’re not the one in a chokehold, you don’t have to care. You can pretend that you do not see the conflict; you can pretend that you’re at peace. Yet, you can never ignore the ever growing hatred for injustice brewing in your heart, waiting to be spilled. And only when that thirst for justice is fulfilled, then, you will have peace.
“Peace is the work of justice” – Thomas Aquinas
Written By: Yu En
