Cian
The night cloaked us in a moonlit chill as I sped down the cherry-petalled boulevard. Crisp, spring air filled my car when Kael rolled down his window. His second-last show in the area had just ended, but the dopamine rush hadn’t worn off yet.
“This time of year always makes me so pensive,” he muttered, eyes darting at the amalgamation of cold concrete, worn-out wood, and pink petals lined by dim lamps.
“Would you say it’s the events unfolding throughout the year that define each season, or is it simply the passage of chronology itself?” I asked slightly hesitantly, the speed of my car occupying most of my mental caliber.
He sat there in thought, jet-black hair camouflaged in the night sky, silver earrings twinkling under every passing lamp, pale skin now a shade of blue in the light of my car. “Well, even though my group is ending our tour now, this time of year still feels very transient with all that’s going on behind the scenes.” He looked at me, the strong wind ceasing its assault on us as the windows rolled up and inviting silence back to our rapport. “Even seeing you again feels transitory.”
“Right, I can’t believe it’s been seven years since graduation already. Nor can I imagine a global star sitting in my car as I drive to his mansion,” I laughed.
“The way I’ll be back in the dance studio tomorrow afternoon while you’ll be attending some conference thing another city over. Man, I wish you could stay longer,” Kael sighed.
“Hey, at least we could meet, even if it’s just for a night. Regardless, your show is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Not just the talent, but the energy of the crowd too. I don’t even know how to describe it.”
“Ah, man, you flatter me.” He blushed, whacking my left shoulder in embarrassment.
“It’s kinda sad that my conference venue got moved, or we could’ve explored the city together,” I lamented.
“Or you could dip and follow me instead! Why bother with some dry, stale engineering talk when you can get on the groove?” he teased, toying with his silver rings.
“If I wasn’t one of the keynote speakers, maybe I could. But today was your day to shine, so let tomorrow be mine,” I replied.
“Oh, right. I forgot that I’m in the presence of a genius,” he teased.
I laughed in response, eliciting a chuckle from him too.
Soon enough, my dark blue car entered the rustic gates guarding Kael’s mansion. As I pulled into the parking lot, I couldn’t help but gawk at the sheer luxury of it all: spotlights as bright as the stadium earlier, greenery climbing up the walls, and timeless architecture that looked as if it had been put together by hand.
“When was this thing even built?” I gasped.
“I think this mansion dates back to the late 1800s, it was passed to me after my uncle’s death,” he answered solemnly.
“Ah, my condolences,” I said, not expecting such a morbid reply. Shoving the sudden uncomfortableness aside, we stepped out of the car to get our bags, and I let him guide me into his mansion for a much-needed shower.
As I stepped out of the marble-tiled bathroom, I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to live in such comfort. It probably had its ups and downs, especially with the line of work he was in, but having the financial safety to pursue his dreams must have been undoubtedly reassuring for him.
After getting ready for bed, I decided to explore my temporary abode, a decision that soon proved to have bitten off more than I could chew. Time seemed to dilate the more I walked past the uncountable doors and maze-like corridors, until a familiar tune shattered the silence. I took out my phone from my grey sweatpants and answered Kael’s call.
“Hey, Cian, I have something to show you. But, uh, I can’t find you…”
“Uh, I decided to take a stroll. I’m next to the…” I looked around. “…private study? That’s what the door says.”
“Goddamnit, just wait there for me. Don’t go in.” He hung up.
Kael announced his arrival with a chuckle, setting his hand on the knob to the private study. The door instantly unlocked with a muted click beneath his touch.
“No way, does the door knob detect your fingerprints?” I asked in shock, a rush of cold air blanketing us as the door swung open automatically.
“Yeah, my uncle was quite the innovator, but taste-wise, he was stuck in his childhood,” Kael said as he walked in, the lights turning on automatically.
A scaffold of metal wiring and red piping lined the walls on all sides of the room, ending at a giant circular hole that seemed to lead into a void. Two chairs tried and failed to hide the empty abyss. Scanning the room further, I came to the conclusion that even my engineering knowledge could not comprehend the enormous robotic circulatory system that laid bare in front of me.
“Bro, over here,” he called out, breaking my trance. He could evidently sense my curiosity.
“I also don’t know how it works, but I do know how to use it.” He sat me down in a black velvet chair directly in front of the hole, massaging my shoulders with his soft palms.
“Does that not worry you? What if it malfunctions? What if it needs to be repaired? What if it blows up?” I shot at him.
“I simply don’t think about ‘what ifs’, because I know there are only ‘ifs’. If it malfunctions, I’ll shut it off. If it needs to be repaired, I’ll find a manual somewhere. If it blows up, I’ll get the hell out of here.” He rummaged in a small cabinet nearby, tugging out a packet of what looked to be pills and a water bottle.
I stroked my chin and pondered his removal of ‘what’, but I guessed he was right. As the waves of curiosity battered my body even harder, a question bubbled to the surface.
“Wait, bro, what does this even do?” I got up and stared into the void. It stared back at me.
“With the help of a conductivity-improving agent, this ninth wonder of the world can recreate the subconscious into a plane where up to two can traverse,” he replied, before popping one of the pills out of its package and downing it with half the bottle.
I gazed at the pill. A smile with two round knobs on top glittered under the white lighting above.
“Oh, come on, it’s not a drug. And even if it was, I know you’d want to do it with me anyways.” His sigh quickly transformed into a grin, one that showed his oddly long right canine beneath his pink lips.
I reached for his warm palm, drinking the remainder of the water alongside the pill. He wiped the residual liquid from my lips with his left thumb, which shocked me as it weirdly felt good.
“Now, please sit and enjoy the show, simulated from your memories.”
I sat as his long fingers fumbled with thin wires, before he sat down too, excitement washing over his irises. The fire of passion in his eyes was hard to ignore, but passion for what?
Before I could even finish my thought, he said, “Now with a click of this remote…” He waved a small control at me. “Let’s step into your world together.”
I gulped down the remaining saliva in my throat. What could I even expect?
The hole whirred, and I realised I could see images floating inside it—like a corridor made of what could only be my memories. My eyes, as if they had a mind of their own, wanted to roll out and join the ever darkening, purple-tinted visions.
In an instant, I found myself shoved to the ground, yet I felt no pain.
Kael
I looked in all possible directions even though I’d already been here multiple times before. Each entry entranced me as if I were watching sand descend in an hourglass, fleeting yet fervent.
White neon light defined the boundaries within this space, whilst every step I took defined the line I chose to walk to Cian across the wide, empty area.
He looked stunned, eyes wide and jaw-dropped, unsurprisingly.
“Welcome to where both reality and the unseen meet,” I announced, my fingers tracing the air around me, searching for a connection to this simulated realm.
“Bro, what are you doing?” He looked at me weirdly.
“Almost there, almost there.” I stared into the distance.
“Interesting.” He placed his palm on my shoulder, now staring at the same spot in the indifferent, false sky.
Soon enough a green square appeared. It grew and grew and grew, then enveloped the space we stood in with a lush greenhouse. The scent of magnolias and lilacs was now all around us, accompanied by the words Choose Your Map in a binary-esque font outlined in white.
I pressed the hovering words, and they were soon replaced by two gargantuan camellias, illuminating the greenery with a soft, pearlescent glow. Cian’s gaze seemed frozen in time.
“How does this work?” he asked, entranced.
“Each flower represents a different person’s map. Now, let’s find yours.”
“What if I want to see yours first, hmm?” A mischievous smile lit up his face. It was hard to not give in.
“We’ll look at mine later.” I continued switching between different flowers until one felt right.
Bluebells.
“Is that mine?” His mouth opened slightly, eyes fixed on me.
“I feel it too.” I grabbed his hand, sensing his slight shock, and we both reached for the flower together.
Reality reverently rippled, purple phosphorescence pouring out.
The whirlpool of memories took both of us hand in hand, like swirling dandelions swept up by a strong breeze.
Cian
I found both of us lying down on rolling hills of green, an expanse of blue covering everything above my head. To take it all in fully, I had to rise to my feet. It felt as if I was a sprout desperate for the sun’s light.
“It’s quite a sight,” Kael uttered in awe.
The painted hues of blue and orange seemed to flow into each other, swirls of pigment on top of the setting sun. Yet, something felt off. The air was fresh yet free-spirited, as if the wind had given up on blowing. After further observation, that seemed to be exactly what was going on.
“Wait, I don’t feel the breeze at all,” I called out to Kael who had strolled into the distance. Unable to hear his reply, I ran to him.
Under the unchanging skies above, he spoke, “This domain is the visualisation of the extrapolation of the ebbs and flows of your inner self.”
“I guess that makes sense. It’s peaceful despite lacking an integral piece of what makes the environment churn,” I replied.
“But how does the outcome not deviate wildly from the world we know even when such a fundamental pillar is removed?” he asked, staring into the horizon.
“Wouldn’t you know?” I squinted up at the sky, empty and formless. “There’s no clouds, though. So there’s definitely some differences from the real world.”
“This realm is a projection of your personal space, so I should be asking you that question! Where’s the wind in your life?” he laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Well…unfortunately, I cannot answer that. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to,” I chuckled.
“Speaking of differences, would you believe me if I said you can make a car out of thin air?” Kael smirked.
“A car? Why would you want to pollute this windless paradise?
“Bro, just tell yourself that you really want it!”
So I did just that, staring at the empty space in front of me. It felt like I was trying to make something out of nothing, akin to beginning a new habit or cramming for an exam.
“Try reframing it. In this world, you really want it, so what you truly think of it out of this realm doesn’t matter.”
It seemed small, but as soon as I changed the way I thought, purple cubes and grids precipitated where nothing once stood. Closing my eyes seemed to quicken the pace, so I did just that. In no time, a lilac-hued convertible Mini Cooper stood at our feet.
“See, what’d I say? Now, please take us away,” he said, chauffeuring me to the driver’s seat.
“Where shall we go?” I looked longingly through the window as I fumbled to start the car.
“I think your heart has spoken.” He nudged me to look at the screen. Miraculously, there was a map to a destination that had come pre-set: The Dream.
Kael
The ride was smooth to The Dream. Together, we passed by various idyllic sceneries: rushing waterfalls that flowed in reverse, flowers that bloomed then wilted rapidly, and the sun that stood still in the sky.
Cian was unusually silent despite usually never shutting his mouth around me. But this didn’t surprise me. The scenery probably meant more to him, like they were an extension of him. They were the projections born from an amalgamation of his values and desires.
Soon enough, the car entered a courtyard of pale yellow spires and flowing grey blocks. We had reached The Dream. The multiple chambers and domes seemed to ripple as if they were made of satin embellished in gold. The stars hanging in the evening sky twinkled in the distance, as if they were trying to communicate with us.
We both got out of the vehicle at the same time. My heart pounded harder when I walked closer to him; a crisp, floral scent wafted in the air around us as the car disintegrated to purple cubes and vanished into thin air.
“Woah, wait a minute,” he yelped, stunned.
“Well, nothing in life is permanent. Most things leave after fulfilling their purpose,” I responded, my hand balling itself into a fist
“You’re unfortunately right. I wish we could stay together longer.” He turned to face the towering buildings ahead, some of their segments seemingly suspended mid-air, others shimmering into nothingness. “I wonder how fast time…” He trailed off.
He was so naive, and it made my head spin.
I couldn’t bear it.
I couldn’t stop it.
I couldn’t change it.
But I had to seize this opportunity, so I vanished.
Cian
Every new step, every new corridor, every new room.
It all felt so real.
It all felt so tailored.
It all felt so me.
I wandered, aimless and lost. Yet, there was something guiding me—a sense of purpose, a desire to explore. Kael’s words stuck with me, manifesting themselves as I tried to touch the walls, only for my hands to go through.
Soon enough, I also became cautious in my stride as some of the stone tiles seemed to possess the same unrendered properties. Still, I persevered, walking past a room adorned in prisms, rainbows plastered on the wall like wallpaper leading to a corridor that seemed longer than it took to walk—as if I was perceiving it through a circus mirror—and a spacious chamber that led down six paths. Light shone through each passage, aside from one.
They say curiosity killed the cat, but can your own unconscious really kill you? I thought as I entered the narrow, barely-lit corridor.
The corridor soon expanded to reveal a large dome in the middle. The walls were paved with coloured glass, glimmering in the moonlight outside and illuminating the scenes strewn together by the mosaic tiles. A boy being handed an exemplary student trophy, a teen crying in the corner of a classroom, a man sitting in a park at dusk.
The more I squinted up at the dome, the more I embraced the tides of time that washed ashore.
This was my past.
My pulse quickened, my mouth dried, and my hands trembled, as I soon realized I had been looking through a glass frame.
I could see no way out.
“How did I even end up here?” I thought. In a panic, I banged against the glass, bruising my fists in the process.
“There’s no way back,” a muffled voice spoke.
It was Kael.
He was standing right outside, his gaze mournful as he stared at me. I opened my mouth but was hit by a wave of fatigue as I slumped down to my knees.
“Even saying sorry is not enough,” he whispered, tearing up. “But to continue being who I am, I have to do this.”
My consciousness flickered as he pressed his face against the glass.
“Your soul is beautiful. I know that now.”
Somehow, that soothed me.
Kael
Moving between realms always made me queasy. The purple radiance that followed each passage did a little to ease my plight, but entering my personal gallery was like a splash of cold water, taking all the nausea away.
I walked closer and closer to my collection. The red light filtering into the black hall was soaked up by the crimson spider lilies that consumed the ground. And beneath a glass cover, a stalk of bluebells hovered in its enclosure.
I teared up, but I knew it was a small price to pay. I wanted him to view all my collected wonders—even traverse all those unseen realms with me. But letting him see my inner world, my garden of sacrifices—that would have been too great of a risk.
It would have been like letting myself go.
