Growth is an action that should be a constant in one’s life, and it is undoubtedly a scary thing. It is necessary for everyone as staying stagnant at a singular point of one’s life is unrealistic. Without growing, one may get left behind as everyone continues to race forward in the race of life.While it is not linear, it is consequential to allow an individual to become comfortable in their own skin. By reaching new heights, it creates a foundation for building a strong tower of self-worth and self-confidence that ultimately leads to an individual who proactively showcases their best traits to the world. We, the writers, have gone through our fair share of hardships of growth and know that it is a hard feat. Through our obstacles we know how important guidance is during this time. Thus, we, your (hypothetical) big sisters, are offering some advice in navigating your journey of growth.
Staying Motivated and Finding Your Support System
Once you have ventured into the endeavours that you were originally frightened of, it may be difficult to stay motivated on the long term goals that you have set for yourself. Beginning something is only half of the challenge, fulfilling the promise is the next big hurdle. However, motivation, just like growth, comes in waves and is not the same every day, hour or even second. Hence, setting the goals that you wish to achieve is of utmost importance.
Identifying the reason why you want to achieve what you are pursuing can help to ensure that you do not lose sight of the vision. While in pursuit of your dream, it’s common to question yourself and your choices. Queries along the lines of “Why am I doing this?” and “Is this really worth it?” may clutter one’s mind as you dash towards the goals that you have set for yourself. To overcome this, one should clarify the biggest and most influential reason for their pursuit.
Highlight the ways your desired achievement could benefit and build you as a person. Additionally, it is also vital to celebrate the small wins that you accomplish. Your path to success will (probably) be a bumpy one and commending yourself for slowly inching your way towards your goal can create a sense of accomplishment and happiness to ground yourself.
Remember that your goals do not need to benefit others and motivating yourself based on how it will help you as a person is not selfish. Personally, self-satisfaction has been a driving force for me to continue thriving in my endeavours. When I had accomplished one of my biggest achievements so far, the only thing that had kept me going throughout the whole process was to prove to myself that I was capable of achieving what I had set my mind to. This might not work for everyone, so it’s important to find what works for you and your work ethic. Other ways of motivation can stem from listing out your wanted achievements or even creating a vision board for those who need a visual push.
Staying motivated does not only come from within; it also has direct ties to the people and community one surrounds themselves with. It is essential to have a positive support system that can pick you back up when you fall. Without this, it becomes easy to slip into a never ending spiral of negativity that is incredibly tough to get out of. From my personal experience of being surrounded by individuals who were less than supportive of my hopes and dreams, it definitely impacted my emotional wellbeing in more ways than not. On top of stressful environments of trying to achieve the best for myself, my thoughts had become clouded by the emotional baggage of negative characters around me.
Despite my experiences, negative support systems do have a way of acting as a catalyst of motivation. The drive to prove non-believers wrong can be great to push one in the right direction but can also backfire as one can start feeling lonely and out of place. Hence, a positive support system, whether that would be from family, friends or even mentors, can create a better path for motivation. As the saying goes, “Monkey see, monkey do” and if one sees others around them acting a certain way, they will feel inclined to follow along; emphasising the need to surround yourself with people who have similar aspirations.
In the long run, negative individuals will only bring harmful environments to one’s mental state. While it may be hard, it is best to cut these individuals out of your life to enable growth from within. Individuals who do not bring positive impacts to your life are better off not occupying space in your mental capacity. Obviously, not all relationships are meant to be fully transactional, especially friendships. However, if someone is only taking up negative space, it may be better for them to not take up space at all. Removing these people, who may be close to you, will hurt, but this hurt will get better with time. In situations like these, those toxic environments will only lead to agonising feelings as you continuously are disappointed by their behaviour. By letting the relationship go, you are allowing yourself freedom from the shackles of their negative attitudes.
Learning from the past
The past can be as frightening as the future if one has been through their fair share of mistakes. However, it’s important to take away something from these flaws of the past. Always remember, past mistakes are there for a reason, it is so you do not repeat them in the future. Hence, it is vital to not be embarrassed or ashamed of making mistakes. Instead, one’s previous mistakes should act as a benchmark and stepping stone to improving and building yourself. Mistakes can help you learn what is to be avoided in the future and these failures give one the experience of negative results, making future achievements taste sweeter.
Making mistakes is normal and one should not be hesitant on making them. What is good to remember is that we are all living this life for the first time; it is normal for things to not go your way at the beginning. What matters most are the steps you take after to better and fix those problems. These errors should be used to build one’s character and making no changes to oneself after would only create a vicious cycle of making mistakes without ever improving. Fixing and improving will help one escape from this cycle and will foster one into a whole person.
Overcoming the Fears of New Endeavours
“It’s ridiculous, it’s exhausting, and it’s ‘pointless’.” These are just a few of the thoughts that cage your mind whenever you’re faced with the prospect of trying something new. Let’s be honest—who wants to step out of their cosy little corner of comfort? The fear of venturing to a new restaurant and possibly getting food poisoning, the fear of talking to someone new and facing judgement, or the fear of the unknown can be paralysing.
When we step out of our comfort zones, we’re often met with a barrage of “what ifs.” What if it goes wrong? What if I fail? These fears are natural, but they don’t have to hold us back. It’s easy to let the comfort of routine lull us into complacency, but staying within our comfort zones can also lead to stagnation. By not trying new things, we miss out on the chance to expand our horizons, develop new skills, and discover passions we never knew we had.
You don’t have to dive headfirst into the deep end. Start with small, manageable steps. If trying a new restaurant seems daunting, start by trying a new dish at a familiar place. If talking to new people is intimidating, start with a friendly hello or a casual conversation with a colleague. Small steps can build confidence and make larger leaps less intimidating.
Everyone feels fear when stepping into the unknown. It’s a natural response, but it doesn’t have to control you. Accept that fear is part of the process and use it as a motivator rather than a barrier. Above all, remember to celebrate every success, no matter how small. Each new experience and each fear conquered represents a triumph. By commemorating these moments, you’ll find the motivation to keep pursuing the boundless opportunities that lie ahead.
‘‘No’’ is a full sentence
“No” is a powerful word, often underestimated in a world where youth are conditioned to please others at any cost. Many sacrifice their own boundaries to meet others’ expectations of perfection, which eventually becomes draining, yet the toll is often only realised when it’s too late. The reluctance to say “no” stems from a fear of disappointing others or being perceived as unkind or selfish. This fear drives people to overcommit, neglect their own needs, and sacrifice personal time and boundaries. Over time, this pattern of people-pleasing can lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, and a loss of self-identity.
Breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing requires a shift in mindset and behaviour. It begins with self-awareness and recognizing the signs of overcommitment and boundary-crossing. Understanding your own limits and prioritising it is essential for setting realistic expectations and communicating them assertively yet compassionately.
Imagine this: your friend asks you to help them move on the same weekend you had planned to recharge and unwind. You feel torn—helping them out is important, but so is your downtime. Instead of automatically agreeing, you take a moment to check in with yourself. You realise that saying “no” this time doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re honouring your own boundaries and needs.
Learning to say “no” is a journey of self-discovery and self-care. It’s about finding that balance between being there for others and being there for yourself. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it gets easier. Start small—maybe politely declining an invitation that doesn’t align with your energy levels or politely turning down extra responsibilities at work when you’re stretched thin.
Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about creating space for healthier, more authentic connections. When you respect your own limits, you invite others to respect them too. And that’s where the magic happens—relationships built on mutual respect and understanding, where everyone’s needs matter.
Therefore, the next time you feel that familiar tug of guilt or obligation, pause. Take a breath. Remember that saying “no” is your superpower—a tool for preserving your energy and protecting your peace of mind. If turning down that invitation means you get to recharge your social battery and indulge in some well-deserved self-pampering, then go for it!
Conclusion
Growth can be intimidating; it often feels like change’s reluctant companion, pulling us into unfamiliar territories. Yet, retreating and hoping for it to pass isn’t going to serve well. Instead, muster the courage to peek outside, take that initial step, and discover that growth can hold unexpected beauty. If we, your “not so big sisters,” can weather similar storms, just imagine the fight your young self holds within. Embrace the beauty of transformation, trust in your own ability to overcome, and witness yourself blossoming like a flower pushing through concrete, flourishing in ways you never expected.
Written by: Ruby and Trezshur
Edited by: Ashley