“Aisha, wait up!” Maria called up at the top of her lungs as she ran towards her friend, who was already a step away from leaving the school gates. Her braid swung wildly in the wind, more strands loosening up and poking out the faster she ran. “Wait for me!”
After Maria had yelled her friend’s name multiple times, Aisha finally turned around, perplexed. She had her earphones in, and her stack of books and study materials was tucked in her arms. By the time Maria caught up with her, her own unzipped backpack spilled out its contents, revealing some crumpled past year papers, several well kept manga, and a few poorly kept textbooks. Her belongings sprawled all over the border between the school gate and the freedom of the outside, as if they were mocking her inability to stay in school… in spirit.
“Oh, Maria, a klutz as always,” Aisha said as she set down her books and backpack on the side to help Maria with the mess. “I’m sorry, I thought you were walking behind me all the while.”
“Don’t worry about it! I was walking a little slower today,” Maria replied as she scrambled to chuck everything back into her bag, her face reddening with embarrassment. Some other schoolmates mumbled and sneered as they walked past the girls, while some others gave them a look of pity. Such was life for Maria.
Even after their frenzied packing session, Maria’s rosy cheeks were still heated by the entire ordeal. She always thought about what life would be like if misfortune wasn’t a shadow that lurked around every waking moment of her day. She always wished a man would swoop in to help her whenever she needed, like how the media she consumed showed. A man that could help her financially. A man she could love endlessly and depend on. Wouldn’t that be a dream?
Her fantasies of a future with a man that would solve all her problems came to a halt when Aisha suggested buying some fried snacks from the van outside their school (which their headmaster warned the students against, but no one really cared), then they walked home together.
“I can’t believe it’s the last day of spring,” Maria said, as she took a bite of her fried fishcakes. “Summer is coming so soon.”
There was a moment of silence between both girls.
“Maria, we’re in Malaysia,” Aisha replied, her eyebrows raised. “We have eternal summer here.”
“I know! But can you imagine our country with four seasons like the West?” Maria exclaimed, her voice full of wonder.
“Not exactly. That would be destructive towards our ecosystem,” Aisha stated matter-of-factly. “And you have got to stop romanticising the West! And Japan.”
“And Japan,” Maria replied dreamily as Aisha rolled her eyes.
“One day you will realise that all countries are not so different when it all comes down to it. They’re just places with people trying to survive,” Aisha said drearily. “Everyone’s future is getting more uncertain as the years pass… This is no time to harp over a fun ‘summertime’, we have our upcoming finals to worry about after our break, and right after that, our future in society.”
“Oh, come on, Aisha! Don’t be such a Debbie Downer,” Maria said. “The future is not so bleak, I think. What do you plan to do after our finals end anyway?”
“Go straight into the college I applied for. They accepted my mock results last week,” Aisha said in response, as a smile began to spread across her face. “After college, I’ll keep studying until I obtain my Master’s in Economics. How about you, any plans?”
Maria was proud of her scholarly friend, of course. Aisha was always the top of their class, and always scored straight A’s on all of their tests. She was the model student, someone Maria’s mother always pushed her to be like. Someone perfect, poised, and polite, blessed with intellect and foresight. She was the president of their school’s esteemed Economics Club, and the vice president of their student council. She was everything Maria could never be, a fact that Maria accepted ever since her first academic failure back in her fourth year of primary school. She began to drift, like a lost soul trying to find purpose and meaning in the world, reaching for intangible things that could only be felt through the eyes. The world only rewarded those who were at an advantage, and she, a mere common citizen with no skills or talent (or so she thought) could never be a high achiever from any angle. To put it simply, she was lost and out of options. What was a young woman supposed to do, anyway? What could young women be?
“I suppose I’ll be a housewife, just like my mother,” Maria replied with a proud smile. She had always wanted to be a caregiver. Someone a loving, breadwinning husband would love endlessly, someone children could respect and trust. She had seen hundreds upon hundreds of videos of beautiful women keeping the house clean and packing meals for their husbands and children. They all looked so happy, so ideal. Her mother – a bona fide housewife – had always been her role model. To her, her mother was the perfect woman who was loving, gentle, and hardworking; an ideal woman the media displayed. A housewife would be the perfect future for her, in thought and theory.
“You’re joking, right?” Aisha asked, bewildered. She stopped in her tracks, her mouth agape.
“No, I mean it,” Maria said in return as she took another bite of her snack. “What can I do anyway? I’m not smart, and I still don’t know what I’m good at. A housewife just tidies the house, cares for her children, and loves her husband. My only task is to find a man who can earn a living for our household.”
“Seriously? That’s not a career.”
“It should be.”
“That’s debatable. I will agree on the front that housewives are not given enough appreciation, but-”
“So it can be a career.”
“No, that’s not what I meant! Stop jumping to conclusions, Maria!” Aisha reprimanded, her ire towards her friend lacing her voice and words.
Then Aisha went on to explain to Maria why being a housewife would not benefit her in the future whatsoever. She would have no financial freedom, no independence, and would be subjected to a lifetime of endless fatiguing caregiving. Maria couldn’t understand her friend’s concern. Aisha raised the point of them living in a male-dominated society that demeaned, degraded and drained women, therefore making the act of becoming a housewife an act of submission. It was an invisible trap laid out as a fruitful future for unsuspecting young girls who were vulnerable to the lecherous hands of domineering men eager to take advantage of their free labour and unwavering generosity; girls too young and naive to understand that the tribulations of escaping the clutches of a household that could potentially turn toxic would be an excruciatingly difficult feat. Maria tried to defend herself by bringing up the fact that it was her own solution for the future by her own volition. Aisha shook her head in disappointment, upset by her friend’s lack of understanding.
Then she asked, “Is that choice truly your own? Or did the system push you towards it?”
Maria was implored to think about her future deeply, and was encouraged to talk to her mother for a second opinion. Frankly, she was offended by her friend, as she didn’t like being contradicted and disagreed with, but she knew that Aisha understood the world too much to be spouting lies and half-truths, making her an undoubtedly credible source for life advice. Yet, being the headstrong and stubborn person she was, Maria could not break down the wall of pride and ego that stood before her eyes, blocking the view of another path that could bring her the better life she wanted, but never knew about. She understood that being a housewife would be playing into the patriarchy, and offer her no security. But what if she was lucky? She could look for a kind husband who would never lay a finger on her or others, someone like that wouldn’t be too difficult to find.
As soon as she got home, she observed her mother’s movements closely. She was doing what she did as always in the evenings of a normal weekday – cooking dinner in the kitchen. She looked closely at her mothers face, and noticed the furrowed brows on her barren face, the beads of sweat staining her old t-shirt, and her pursed lips, as if she was displeased by the bitterness of her situation. There was not an ounce of pride, of satisfaction, of joy displayed on the sullen face of the middle-aged woman tired by nearly two decades of caring for a husband and child. She was not like the housewives on social media who glorified their tasks while looking beautiful. Was the media Maria consumed manipulating her? Reality seemed so different from what was curated by the algorithm online.
When it was finally time for dinner, she eyed her parents at the table. Her parents loved each other dearly, and never raised their voices at each other or at Maria. At the dinner table, they were calm and quiet, like always. Her parents were both equally stressed by their day’s work, yet she knew her mother would still be the one to clean the dishes while her father would take a long, hot shower. Occasionally her father and her would help out with the chores, but her mother would often be the one who worked more than them. She had very little time for rest, as her work was continuous.
“Mum,” Maria asked, as her mother finally rested on the sofa once all her chores were done. “Is it worth it being a housewife?”
There was a shared silence between the mother and daughter, a moment of brief grief and eventual relief.
“If you mean it as me being your mother, and a wife to your father, I will say that it is worth it, because I love you both so deeply. However…” her mother said slowly. Her eyes sparkled with years of pent up frustration released into thousands of tiny specks of shiny molecules, as if she had been waiting for such a question for a long while. “…if you mean it as work alone, then no. No, it really isn’t worth it.”
She wanted to ask her mother why, but by then, she already knew the reason why. She remembered her mother calling her friends who she made at an accounting firm she worked at before Maria was born, talking about her bygone days at the office. She overheard the aunties and big sisters at their house parties talking to her mother about how much they missed her at work, and how many opportunities she had missed. She was once a career woman, and Maria had completely glossed over that fact. She had always placed housewives on a pedestal, and was ignorant towards the suffering and dissatisfaction deep within the hearts of mothers and wives. Her mother made a sacrifice for her and her father, and could only stay in an endless loop of unpaid, unappreciated labour back at home. Sure, it was her choice, but it was not fair. It was not right. Thousands upon millions of women made this sacrifice, but why? Why were they expected to? Maria was deeply unsettled by that thought. In another universe, her mother would have been able to work at a company that she liked, with a steady flow of income while she did what she loved.
“Are you asking because you planned to become a housewife like me too?” her mother asked intuitively.
“I wanted to, but I don’t think it’s that great of a plan anymore,” Maria replied. “No offense, Mum – I truly appreciate all you do for us. I wanted to become a housewife because I thought that it was easy, and an honourable task. But Aisha warned me against it.”
“I’m glad she knocked some sense into you!” her mother jested lightheartedly. “You are too young to think like this, anyway. You have so much to live for, and so much to do. Why do you want to tie yourself to a household so early?”
“I’m just… so lost, Mum,” Maria said sadly. “I’m not good at anything, I think.”
“Don’t look down upon yourself like that, my dear,” her mother consoled her. “You still have time to study more and learn more about possible career paths after high school. In time, with the right amount of knowledge and life experience, you will know what to do.”
“Really?” Maria asked uncertainly, but with hope.
“Yes. It is important to stay educated, and have work experience. Don’t let other people reign over your life, and remember that you have autonomy as a young woman in this world,” her mother continued, as she gave her a hug. “Knowledge is the key to unlocking many possibilities. Protect yourself, my dear. Don’t let society dictate what you should become in the future just because you feel lost.”
Maria went back to her room and started to take her revision seriously. She now knew that there was more to life than being a housewife. Even if she were to end up in that position in the end, she would rather have her own independence and financial stability first. She decided that if she were to have a stable future, continuing her studies would be best.
“The modern individual family is founded on the open or concealed domestic slavery of the wife, and modern society is a mass composed of these individual families as its molecules.”
Written By: Julia
Edited By: Amberlyn
