by June Ong
Hello dear human, does the date 14th of February signify anything to you? It’s Valen…sshhh….hush now, (waggles finger under your nose), noooo…..this is just an ordinary day, just like any other boring mundane lonely depressedDAYS!!!
Shoot, I just blew my cover, didn’t I? Fine you win, I’ll say it (admittedly quite grudgingly):
“I’m single, just like I have been the last 19 years and yes this will be another stupid Valentine’s Day that I’ll be spending alone.”
Oh well, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? Yeap, I am channeling my loveless yet still amazingly awesome single life (forget what I said earlier about being mundane etc.) to a self-help guide called “How Do Single People Spend Valentine’s Day”.
Yes I know I sound like some grudging old lady eating sour grapes and yes I agree with you that I can just ignore this momentous day and live my life as usual but hey, what better day other than Valentine’s Day to show you how single people can still rock their awesome life even without a significant better half?
Step 1: Treat yourself
Can’t afford to splurge a fancy solo dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant? No worries. Here is a box of chocolates and yes, you can finish that whole guilty sinful box of delights. Of course you can, you don’t have a “better half” that will call you fat or forced to share the box with, remember? No chocolates, fret not, it’s still Chinese New Year, gobble down all those CNY cookies. Go ahead, no one’s judging. Valentine’s Day for single people is a free “I-don’t-care-about-calories” day.
Step 2: Netflix and chill
Woah people, no dirty ideas please. All I am saying is that being single means you don’t have to share, that 36-inches plasma TV is all yours to enjoy and soak in the life of being a single couch potato. Don’t be sorry for yourself, you don’t have to force yourself to watch tear-jerking cheesy Hollywood romcoms that’s just constantly reminding you that you do not have anyone special. Who cares? Personally, I do a horror movie marathon every year during Valentine’s Day and trust me, watching a Texas chainsaw massacre makes you feel grateful that you’re alive and well, whoever needed a partner anyway?
Step 3: Scorn all you want
Notice I said scorn, not scones, like what the British love having for tea. Yup, scorn all the way however and wherever you want. Sneer at the thought of cliché romantic gestures, turn away in disgust at fancy romantic dinners offered by restaurants, wince at overpriced roses, yes single people, this is the one day in the calendar where you can do all these sour-grape actions and people would not look down upon you because they understand your pain. Although the truth is, under this tough emotionless shell we single people have been so good at building, underneath it all we are fragile beings who just want someone to love us and hold us when the days get dark.
One day, we will all be loved and we will find our soul mate, one way or another. In the meantime, those who are already in a relationship, I wish you all the best; those who are flying solo, your time will come. Cheers and Happy Valentine’s! #All the single people put your hands up
by June Ong