1. Fireworks

A new day, an infant dawn

Drifting fingers past months long gone

Starbursts in the night sky

A final bid, farewell goodbye

The house doors are unbolted

The garden burrs and thistles molted

The gardener came at three that day

Grass-shorn shot, a demure display

There are people inside the house

Garnet, wine, a bright red blouse

Flutters from corners filled to brim

Cheers and laughs and dinner hymns

It is a celebration of the new year

A chance to remember things held dear

Someone brought Yee Sang and plum sweets

It is raised high, and the past is fleet

The garden laughs amidst the dark

The sky alight with fiery mark

The sounds have scared the cats

Behind, afar, with them I sat

There are gunshots in the sky

The moon is safe, from up high

A pistol crack, a signalled start and finish line

At least I knew back then that my house was still mine

When everyone leaves, at the end

To their home, to life returned, gone to tend

I counted and wished to hold this moment near

Right now, right then, right at this second here

But always a new day, that infant dawn

As with every breath, life carries ever on

The dark subsumed, the golden sun

Of wishes fulfilled, there is only ever but one

2. Gray

I know your voice, by sound, by heart

Held in my palms, from the very start

Of kittens there were three, and then two and one

My little miracle, I loved you as the sun

You are wild and free and unrestrained

Too long within, you did not remain

You leave the gate, slipping the crack

But every day you have always been back

I have closed two upturned bowls upon the table

You have learnt to take. In this, you are uniquely able

You watch my palm and raise a paw, for food high-five

You stretch and scratch and announced when you arrive

You sleep upon the mat outside

The chairs and table on the patio side

At nine in the morning, then four and ten

The opened gate, and bowls filled then

That last night, I let you in from the back

You eyed the curtains and then the new Ikea rack 

You climbed the steps and upstairs slept

And I on the couch, a loving watch kept

You did not come back the next day

But still I wait and search up ‘till today

There are posters upon the nearby streets

And for you, I have set aside your box of treats

To my God, I say

Bring her home today

Keep her safe, dry from rain

You did it before. Do it again.

3. Stroke

A month passed by, a solemn mess

I wonder how, and yet still held less

The fleeting flurry of a dandelion’s seed

But at noon stroke, as life proceed

I came home late and went straight to bed

I wish I had said goodnight instead

But I am gone again, the next day

With classes and clubs, and did not stay

I laugh and smile, without reason I learn

It made no sense how fast that tide did turn

I wait to go home at nine at night

Sat next to the column beneath the college light

Three things I plead, never again-

The crack in my father’s voice.

The silent house.

My own wretched thoughts.

It is strange, how quickly rendered void

All the things once occupied and enjoyed

I think- I think to drown in this way 

In that pool of words I cannot say

There is no rhyme and reason

No remote chance of a single sentence

Misshapen puzzle pieces-

Of someone I love and the suffering of a stroke

4. White Lights

I learn the route to the hospital bed

The corridors, the elevators, then straight ahead

It passes by, a faceless crowd

Reflecting me, and mine in that shroud

She cries the first time she sees my brother and I

I speak in broken Malay, the only way that I can reply

I hold her hand, but she cannot feel it yet

I see the tubes and pain in her eyes, the diagnosis not set

At the food court between visits

Crowded around the single bed

A steady flow of visitors

Still my grandmother cries, tears shed

5. Darkest Thoughts

There is a hole inside of me

A scarring, ache I cannot see

I know the taste of salt and tears

And I play host to a sea of fears

I have tests to complete

I push and rush and cannot eat

I blame myself, that whispered guilt

And my world remains at its shaken tilt

It burns, that anger, as the crowd passes

In class, in restaurants, upon the streets

It is wholly unfair, and yet I wonder

Their rotating axis while mine is torn asunder

It is difficult to breathe, I think

I do not know how far it may sink

I have to be grateful now, for what is left

But this sentiment feels oddly bereft

I need to wake up but it isn’t a dream

I exist within this span, as faint as it may deem

The world is fixed when I close my eyes

But I am awake, and it is a wistful tune of lies

6. Static

There are footsteps in the house once more

Uncle, aunts, cousins and all, as before

My brother falls sick, and then I

It’s bad, and I despise the reason why

I cannot stand the smell of food

It wafts, leftovers from the downstairs mood

I can hear the laughs and smiles and exchange

The pieces of a new life starting to arrange

My grandmother is home once more

With a routine that’s a farce at playing as before

She cuts her hair, and relearns to speak

I wish I could be just as strong, but I am weak

There is a crack upon my heart

In two shards, it threatens to part

It stains a blemish, a mark, chalk ink

I do not know what to think

To myself, a lullaby

That this too shall pass

As those miles to go before I sleep

As those miles to go before I sleep

7. Faith

I cannot control the tilt of the earth or the sun

Nor the stars or dust or any other one

And so I pray, with knees to the ground

And find that its comfort is all the more profound

I am hurting and lost and uncertain

But I can stand, with my burdens cast

I do not know what day or dawn would bring

If it is a summer or winter or autumn spring 

But on the seventh day, the risen sun

The promise, a hope, a victory done

And so to this I cling with all my heart

As I should have done from the very start

Three months ago, I held the world

How quickly like petals lost unfurled

To my cat, I say come home one day

My grandmother, and I dare to think it will be okay

Written By: Trishta
Edited By: Ashely

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