To All The Crushes I’ve Loved Before

Dearest readers, 

It is I, Lady Theodosia (not). You do not know me, and you never shall. But if you are currently reading this, then rest assured: I certainly do not know you either… It is often said that feelings need not be an intricate affair. Indeed, one might simply utter the very first notion that flits through one’s mind. Yet, as seasoned observers of human nature, we are well aware that matters of the heart seldom adhere to such simplicity. Emotions, dear readers, are but fleeting guests in the grand ballroom of our lives. Some of us allow these visitors to waltz in and out with nary a second thought, while others clasp them tightly, unwilling to release them from their grasp.

Love is the most cunning guest, sneaking up on us, catching us off guard, and leaving a lasting mark upon our hearts. Ah, the thrill of secret admiration! The secret glances, the fervent daydreams, the ineffable charm of the unattainable, and wondering if they ever feel the same. Each crush, whether a fleeting fancy or a lingering obsession, has played its part in shaping the tapestry of our romantic escapades. There exists an undeniable charm in those moments of admiration, a certain magic in the ‘what ifs’ and ‘could have beens’ that fill our days with dreamy distractions and our nights with wistful contemplation.

Welcome to “To All the Crushes I’ve Loved Before,” a heartfelt ode from those who have unwittingly found the muses of their most cherished daydreams and the stars of their secret fantasies. All these longing hearts have been unspoken, but now they have been given the opportunity to let out their hidden feelings for the world. These admirations have served as silent architects of personal growth, gentle nudges that have propelled individuals from their comfort zones, and mirrors reflecting both insecurities and deepest desires.

As we embark upon this nostalgic journey, dear readers, let us revel in the splendour of these unrequited romances, the wisdom they impart, and the lasting memories they have engraved upon the hearts of those who have generously shared their love letters with us, hoping their beloveds will know they are forever cherished. Whether it was the confident charmer who made them weak at the knees, the kind soul whose mere presence summoned a smile, or the enigmatic stranger who crept into their dreams, each crush holds its own unique tale that we shall delight in reading. Remember, no crush is the same, and no ending is final; some endings are merely the beginning of another chapter.

So, pour yourself a cup of tea, settle into your most comfortable chair by the ‘fireplace’, and join me in a delightful stroll down memory lane of various diamonds of the season. Let us honour those who have made hearts race and spirits soar, for they are the unsung heroes of these romantic escapades.


Your jet-black hair flows with the wind, complementing your rosy cheeks and round eyes. I stare at you with desire in my eyes, but no matter how I look, the true warmth of you is in your heart. Grit for our love holds us close as we laugh at another joke only we would understand. I love your heart, mind, and flesh.
~The Goonster

It’s a reminder that true beauty lies not only in outward appearance but also in the warmth and kindness of the heart. Such love is rare and precious, and it’s clear that the author cherishes every aspect of their beloved. Truly heartwarming! 

OMG, I haven’t seen you in such a long time! It feels like it’s been forever 😭. I hope you’re doing well, and I just wanted to get this off my chest 🧰. Sending you my best wishes from afar!!!

Now, a letter that is short, simple, and, unlike their feelings, straightforward.

Okay, so what if we have already dated and broken up twice… third time’s the charm!🤩~Please come back

And well, some are just delusionally hopeful…


Dear J,
Initially, I was drawn to your charisma, your confidence, and the way you carried yourself. You seemed larger than life, exuding confidence and serving as the life of the party. In my mind, every little interaction was a sign, indicating that we were fated for each other and pulled together by destiny. To this day, I still don’t know if I liked you or if I simply wanted to be with you. I am immensely grateful that I never pursued anything with you. Crushing on you made me realise that I have to stop romanticising everything and actually get to know them in real life. I ended up disappointing myself, and it made me feel like a fool. The moral of the story: some crushes should simply remain as such. Nevertheless, J, I wish you all the best in life, and I hope that you never lose your charm and your way with people.

This epistle dances upon the pages with all the intrigue of a masked ball! Let us raise our quills in salute to their journey of self-discovery and wish them well in navigating the treacherous waters of love.

It’s hard not to love you. You’re so kind, so sweet, so undeniably pretty. I love being near you, and I wish I didn’t feel us drifting apart right now. Whenever I’m with you, I feel truly seen; as if it’s just you and me in our own little bubble, momentarily cut off from the rest of the world.
Maybe this distance is for the best. I know that if I were to confess, you would treat me no differently, for that’s the kind of person you are.
But I’m selfish and scared, and I hold undeserved envy toward the guys you date. I imagine what it’d be like to be one of them—for you to see me as an option. 
I’ve never wanted to be a man, but I have wanted to be yours. At times, I still do.
My Lacy, my Rory. Perhaps in another life, I will be brave enough to tell you. And in that life, I hope you’ll be able to like me back.

Each word drips with the sweet ache of unspoken desires and the yearning for reciprocated affection. Here’s to hoping the author’s heartfelt sentiments find their way into the arms of their beloved, igniting a flame that burns brighter than the stars themselves. 

There’s this girl I often see, especially in the Brain Forest and some of my IT classes. Her eyes are mesmerising and a sight to behold, like sunlight pouring onto the streets through amber. And her hair—it’s as if every shampoo ad was crafted with her in mind. Her features are perfectly balanced, with an exotic charm that’s utterly captivating. I find myself lost in thoughts about her nose. Uniquely hooked yet hangs with such grace as she turns her head. It’s as if she’s orchestrating a symphony of elegance with every move. It’s as if her ancestral line is telling a story right before my eyes. Everything about her is just…perfect. I can’t help but feel infatuated, completely drawn to the masterpiece she embodies. I just hope she knows that there are a handful of people out there who poetically admire her the way I do. Perhaps, in the quiet moments when she gazes out the window or walks through the halls, she senses the reverence woven into the air, the unspoken words of admiration that linger in the spaces around her. Though I may never find the courage to express it directly, I take solace in the idea that the beauty she carries within is recognized and celebrated, even if only in silent admiration.


A swoon-worthy tribute! The way the author gushes over their muse’s mesmerising eyes and flawless hair is utterly charming. It’s like reading the script of a melancholic drama—full of admiration and secret longing. Let’s cross our fingers that the person of their affection gets a hint of these sweet sentiments, and maybe, just maybe, a love story unfolds! 


You were a beautiful enigma. The closer I got, the more indecipherable you became. Your magnetic nonchalance was evident in the way you acted, spoke, and carried yourself. You knew how to engage people without ever truly revealing much—enough to know, but never enough to be understood. There was always an allure about you that drew me closer with fascination. I yearned to unravel the layers that enveloped your inner soul. You were a charming puzzle for me to piece together. However, I never did. Maybe I was never meant to; instead, you were just art meant to evoke emotion within others. You’re the muse, while I’m just the writer.~From a hopeless romantic 💔

The tantalising nonchalance and fiery allure drew them in like a moth to a flame. This mysterious figure, ever the artful muse, ignites emotions with their mere presence, leaving our poor writer in a state of perpetual fascination.

I liked you as we laughed like idiots and ran around the schoolyard like little squirrels. I wanted you as we shared our deepest secrets and made promises built on innocence. I loved you as you became the boy of my dreams. I hated you as you turned into a man of nothingness and shallow skills. I forgave you, as I needed to understand, but now I can’t recall the way you buried your palm in my hand.
It was a mistake. I shook my head and walked ahead.
I saw you from afar—hair and lips so pathetically and beautifully carved. I picked you apart like a toy that I hated and dreamt of holding you close as the skies faded. Three years together, but a moment of misunderstanding ruined it all. We berated each other in the name of defence. Brains and pride drifted away as she created landmines of sweet callings. So I held her like a friend and watched you fall to your doom. It was not love, it wasn’t desire, you simply provoked my fire. I took a step back as my heart opened, letting her indulge in the fruit I wanted. You ran like a coward as I leapt out of the battlefield bruised and battered. Now she hunts the next, while I watch us live untethered.
It was unnecessary. I shook my head as I wiped the tears from my eyes.
Never yours,
The Lighthouse Enemy

They needed him, but he was never theirs. How swiftly dreams can turn into reality’s bitter asha captivating paradox. In the battlefield of emotions, misunderstandings and pride create a poignant tableau of lost love and shattered dreams. Yet, amidst this turmoil, the heart finds a way to release its burdens. May we all find the strength to walk ahead, no matter the scars we bear, embracing farewells not with bitterness, but with understanding and release.

You have a really cute smile, and I’ve been smitten since the first day I saw you. Not to mention, we were both wearing the same white shirts and long jeans, and we looked like a couple from day one! I’m really glad I made the first move to start talking with you and finally going on outings together (it’s a date in my mind, though).As we chatted and went on more outings together, I found that our interests seemed to be quite different, yet our conversations flowed so smoothly. I also love the fact that you always try to prolong our conversations with the so-called ‘question time,’ where we ask questions to learn more about each other.I especially loved our ‘outing’ to the fun fair, where we screamed our lungs out on exciting rides. It was so noisy there, but I was too focused on you: being by your side, having fun with you, hearing you laugh, and seeing you looking at me too. Remember when I stood one step higher on the stairs and looked at you at the same eye level? To be honest, it really made my heart race, but I could only pretend to stay calm and make small talk with you, which turned into playful bickering about who’s taller.Spending time with you is always fun, and I always want to spend more time with you, just the two of us. If you are reading this and recognize who I am, let me know if you’re interested in going out on a date with me 😉~Snoopy

Well, if this isn’t the most adorable declaration of a “not-a-date” date I’ve ever read! Sounds like destiny in matching white shirts and long jeans. Here’s hoping for many more fun fairs and ‘question times’—because who wouldn’t want more of that charming banter and those heart-racing moments?  


Hey you,The last time I saw you was at graduation, and now all I can do is look through the pictures where I mustered up the courage to talk to you. It’s been six years since I fell in love with you, and I don’t actually know when I’ll stop having these feelings—it has become a habit. I think of you about 50 times a day, reminiscing on all the small interactions we had. I have never gotten bored of it—only happy that I got the chance to meet you in this life. You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met, and it honestly hurts knowing that I can’t have you the way I want. Just know that getting to know you is still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Perhaps in a parallel universe, we’re looking through shopping lists together, deciding which one of us will pick up the kids after school. I love you, and I hope there will be a time when we meet again.~V

Another bittersweet tale we have here. The ache of unspoken love! Here’s to hoping that in another time, another place, your paths will cross again and fulfil the dreams you hold so dearly.

If you ask my friends, they would probably say I’m obsessed, infatuated, or whatever word you can think of that is better than ‘down bad’. At first, I doubted that this was anything serious, but the way my camera roll is populated by screenshots of our texts (every mere notification I get from you too) says otherwise.The way I begged my friends to find out more about you. The way I asked one of your closest friends about your interests just so I had an excuse to strike up a conversation with you. The way I turn on ‘Do Not Disturb’ whenever I send you a text. The way the entirety of A-levels has probably heard about it because I can’t help but boast to everyone about you (they probably hate me for bringing you up that much).I often have extremely elaborate dreams, and lately, you’ve been appearing in them more than I’d like. You’re one of the driest people I’ve ever met, but that is lowkey what keeps me attracted to you—the chase, if you may. But having a crush on you is so baffling because I don’t even know you that well, and yet my head conjures up the most delusional scenarios about us—the effects of being a Chrollo stan, I fear.If you’re going to fall in love with me one day (#manifesting), you should know I cry when I see old people alone, and I can’t fall asleep without someone talking in the background (See, now you know me! Let’s get married or whatever). Just a warning though: my friends are spammed with voice notes any time we have a minor interaction, with the whole PEEL format too… I think it’s safe to say this is more than a hallway crush.The way my spam account is SICK of you. The way I try to view my stories from your perspective in hopes of just knowing an ounce of what you think of me. The way I almost applied to SES when I found out you were in it. The way I study harder just to match your intellect because you’re probably the smartest person I’ve ever met. The way I haven’t written anything with you as my muse up until now because I was scared of admitting my feelings for you.Okay, but to be honest, I’m not really sure if I have a serious ‘let’s date’ crush on you or if I just find you (really) cute. But the bottom line is that I want to know you more. So I guess maybe I am borderline ‘down bad’…~Your friend’s friend 

Ah, dear readers, what a delightfully candid epistle we have before us! From the subtle nuances to the heartfelt confessions, every word dances upon the page with a uniquely enchanting charm. It’s a testament to the enduring allure of love and the tender emotions that reside within us all. Bravo to this author for baring their soul so elegantly! 


I’m not sure if it’s even considered a crush anymore since I’ve fairly moved on. However, it’s kind of irritating when you’re determined to move on and they just keep appearing right in front of you. Nowadays, rather than having those sweet, fluttery emotions, I’m mainly getting downright annoyed.Honestly, it’s quite tiring, considering that I had feelings for you for so long. When we used to sit next to each other, entertaining ourselves by playing bingo (with numbers crudely drawn on the back of our notebooks). Our hands would get dirty by the end of the day—we were still getting used to pens, and they would stain blue, red, or black against the bottom of our palms.It’s stupid since you’re not even that good-looking, but I can still remember your lopsided smile, with your teeth poking out and your glasses crooked on your face. Those days, I think we were just hopelessly silly (literally no thoughts, head empty). I was less conscious of everything—heck, I don’t think I even understood whatever I was feeling back then. But I definitely knew later on that the affection I had for you was not as minuscule as it seemed.But hey, I’m pretty sure you are quite into the girl you’re talking (and flirting) with right now (who, based on the signs, clearly likes you as well). So, I think it’s a good thing that I’ve learned how to move on. Then again, I think first crushes (first love? dare I say that?) are always sweet but sometimes a little bitter.~Clearly delusional and depressed

The complexities of first love never cease to captivate our hearts and minds, huh. One can only wonder if this tale of fleeting love will find its resolution in the hallowed halls of a future ballroom, where hearts might align once more under the watchful gaze of Lady Theodosia (not). For now, we must content ourselves with the bittersweet melody of memories and the hope that, in the future, true love’s path will reveal itself in time for this author.

I hope this letter finds you with a big smile on your face, just like the one you always seem to not have whenever I see you! 😊 I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a while now, and I figured it’s finally time to spill the jellybeans! 
The first day I saw you in the jungle of university life, I felt nothing. You were another passerby in my life. But one day, I suddenly felt like I stumbled upon a magical treasure, and that treasure is YOU! Seriously, you’re like the coolest, cutest, most charming person I’ve ever met, and I just can’t keep it in any longer. I have had a lot of ‘oh, they look cute’ over the years, but they were just that. A fleeting fancy. But with you, I want it to be more. At least friends, because I don’t think I can last another second not talking to you (I mean, we did talk, but it was for a project only). Just to be clear, you are not scary, but when you are with your friends, I feel my stomach churn at the thought of your friends making fun of me for having something on you. So here I am, throwing caution to the wind (and maybe a paper aeroplane or two) to tell you that I’ve got a little crush on you. Yup, I said it! 💌
In my journey of staying single all these years, I discovered something unexpected when I saw you. My heart’s been doing somersaults whenever you’re around, and I can’t help but feel like there’s something more to our non-existent friendship. I remember when we met each other unexpectedly in the basement. I was with my friend and couldn’t see you from afar (the effects of being partially blind). But as you came closer, you noticed me and waved. I saw someone waving, and it took me less than a second to notice that it was you. You smiled. ARGHHHHH! It was like Cupid shot millions of arrows straight into my heart all at once. I waved back, immediately turned around, and held onto my friend’s hand like my life depended on it as my knees buckled. My heart was racing faster than a F1 car. I was panicking because of how messed up I looked (I was screaming at my friend that I looked awful for the next 20 minutes. A full mental breakdown. I wanted the ground to swallow me up then and there). I looked back as you walked away. You did not look back. Not even once. Alas, I guess we are just fated to be acquaintances in this lifetime.
I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I could just gather up the courage to talk to you, because I have died every day waiting for you. But, no. I don’t want to talk to you. I just want to admire you from a distance. A secret that nobody will know (except for my two friends, who I fangirl with about you all the time). A diamond I could never touch. A mysterious fragment from my memory. A past in my future.
Now, I totally get it if this news leaves you feeling as flabbergasted as a unicorn discovering a rainbow. And hey, if you don’t feel the same way, no worries! I promise not to turn into an ogre at midnight. I just wanted the world to know about how I feel for you because this feeling means the world to me, and I wouldn’t trade it for all the treasure in the world. Just know you’ll always have a special place in my heart. (I’m pretty sure you will never know about this, but eh, what the heck)
Sending you a big ol’ bear hug (the squishy kind, not the scary kind) 🐻, and a bunch of sparkly confetti because, well, why not? 🎉 Here’s to (I hope) friendship, laughter, and maybe even a sprinkle of fairy dust romance. Thanks for being the coolest superhero a sidekick comedian (because I’m Joker material) could ask for in my delusions!
Never yours,
The one that got away…

Ah, dear readers, this author’s revelations about their crush are as delightful as the gossip whispered amongst society’s finest. One cannot help but chuckle at the candid reflections on their romantic misadventures. This letter reads like a rollercoaster of emotions—from nothing to everything. It’s a rom-com in written form! Here’s to hoping their crush feels the same and this story gets a happy ending! 💌💕


“I hope it’s okay if I love you forever.” — Ally Maine, “A Star is Born”Was it that day? The day you snuck up behind me while I was having an online class—chuckling that bubbly laugh of yours when you successfully scared me—to ask me out for dinner at my favourite katsu curry place.Or was it the other day? When we were walking on the sidewalk through the drizzling rain with your friends—you in front and me behind. You kept reaching your hand back and glancing behind to check if I was following along, knowing how bad I was with directions. I always wondered if you wanted me to hold that outstretched hand of yours; if the thought ever crossed your mind. Or was it just me who wanted to? It would have been weird though, wouldn’t it?Maybe it was the day when we were sitting on the staircase beside each other, sharing my earbud because your phone was low on battery and you wanted to hear the songs I was listening to. We didn’t talk; I was working on an assignment, and you were just staring off into the distance. I remember glancing at you for a moment, deep in thought, when your eyes shifted to meet mine. You gave me that small smile of yours, and somehow, in that expression, there was a sort of understanding that formed in my heart. How long has it been since I could comfortably sit in silence with somebody and have that be enough for both of us?But it’s possible that I fell for you long before then.With everything that you are, how could I not?Kind, funny, responsible—you had a lot of positive traits. But most importantly, you were gentle. So gentle. Even when you had to teach me maths and I couldn’t grasp any of the concepts, you didn’t raise your voice. Never. “Okay,” you would say softly, taking a deep breath and pausing for a moment before searching for a new blank piece of paper and drawing out the equation for the third time. “Let’s do it this way…”You were gentle when you saw me crying one day. I didn’t mean to break down in front of you; believe me, I was beyond mortified afterwards. You were probably caught off guard and didn’t know what to do. Still, you held my hand through it all. I remember how soft your touch was—the way you gently rubbed my fingers to comfort me. If I close my eyes even now, I can still feel the tingling sensation from back then. You didn’t say anything, because I guess you knew me well enough to know I like to suffer in silence. But your presence made me feel better. When I was done, all you had to say to me was, “Do you want to get something to eat?” and that made me love you even more.But you aren’t mine, and I’m not sure if I want you to be. You were sunshine, and I was midnight rain, as Taylor Swift would put it. You are great in all the ways that matter, and you should be with somebody who is equally as great, if not more. You deserve someone who is on your level. Someone who would be able to love you and give you the bright future you deserve.I can’t give that to you. I know that. I’m not that great of a person, and I may never be. Not now, anyway. And it would be such a waste for you to end up with me; you should never settle for less.But still, is it okay for me to want you?Even if I can’t have you?~The Song in Your Playlist (which you shouldn’t listen to but still do)

A heart caught in the delicate balance between adoration and resignation, much like the nuanced dance of the ton at a grand ball. Each memory with their beloved, a precious gem, polished by time and emotion. How captivating it is to witness the gentle unfolding of affection, met with the cruel reality of unattainable desire. Yet, in true fairytale fashion, there is grace in this unfulfilled love. The author recognizes the brilliance of their adored one, choosing to honour that light rather than dim it with their own insecurities. It is a testament to the strength and nobility of the human spirit to cherish someone so deeply, even when they cannot be yours. May this tale remind us all that sometimes the most profound love stories are those that live in the quiet recesses of our hearts, untouched by the trials of reality.



And so, dear readers, we find ourselves at the end of the whimsical journey through the garden of crushes. How swiftly these musings have flown, yet how deeply they resonate within the chambers of our hearts. As we close this chapter, let’s allow all the crushes we’ve cherished in the quiet corners of our minds to remind us of the joy and innocence that love, in its most untainted form, brings to people’s lives. We owe a debt of gratitude for the lessons learned and the dreams they have inspired. They have taught us to love boldly, to dream wildly, and to embrace the unpredictable nature of the heart’s desires. While not every crush turned into a love story for the ages, each one has left an imprint, a lesson, and sometimes even a smile.

Remember, it’s not just the grand romances that shape us but also these fleeting moments of admiration and longing. They teach us to hope, to dream, and to open our hearts, even if just a little. They remind us of our capacity to feel deeply and passionately, to cherish beauty in the ordinary, and to find excitement in the unknown. So, raise a glass, dear reader, to all the crushes we’ve loved before—the ones who left behind a trail of bittersweet memories and tender sighs, who showed us the multifaceted nature of affection, and who, knowingly or unknowingly, played a part in our stories.  May we continue to encounter new admirations with the same fervour and delight, ever ready to be swept off our feet by the next enchanting spark. (I know I was enchanted to meet mine).

Dear readers, until our paths cross again in the pages of another tale, remain ever hopeful, ever daring, and ever ready to fall in love once more. Until next time, remember: even unspoken love can illuminate the darkest corners of our souls. For in the grand game of romance, one never knows when the next beautiful chapter will begin, as every new encounter holds the promise of another memory waiting to be made.

Yours truly,

Lady Theodosia (not)

Written by: Echo Members

Edited by: Tisyha

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