With the recent COVID-19 pandemic going on, along with the worries and commotion that comes with it, not only has the world been affected financially and economically, a great number of relationships have also been affected.
But not to worry, Relationship Reset is here to amend and maintain relationships especially in this time of need. On 1 August, 6 pm EDT, which is 2 August, 6 am MYT, Kingdom Dominion Church went live on YouTube to share what it takes to complete a relationship based on the bible’s context. The speakers were Dr. J. Calvin Tibbs and his wife, Kimberly.
Pastor Tibbs started out the session by stating out the three major components in forming a complete relationship:
- Learning how to connect the dots
- Completing the circle
- Learning how to color outside the lines
He mentioned that the key factor of making a successful and long-lasting relationship is by putting in the time and effort to make this relationship work. This is even more so in times like this where our relationships need to be stronger and more sure-footed now than ever before because arguments among couples have risen.
His wife, Kimberly stated that there is a need for everyone to learn and improve their communication skills with one another to achieve the three components above. She also gave a helpful analogy on how communication would look like in terms of ships. Miscommunication would be equivalent to two ships just passing by one another without meeting each other at a point in the ocean, hence, it takes communication to steer the two ships to meet each other.
Later on, Kimberly went on and explained why miscommunication occurs. Miscommunication occurs because men and women communicate differently since men are different from women and vice versa. For example, the way women act, think and respond are different from men. This difference causes disagreements as the two clearly have different opinions on the same matter. However, this is completely fine because God made men and women different on purpose, He made them different in their communication styles on purpose. This difference allows men and women to complement each other. In short, God didn’t make men and women different so that they would be combative and argumentative, but so that they would complement one another in forming a harmonious relationship which is the completion of the circle.
Besides that, before the serpent came along in the garden to trick Eve, Adam and Eve worked and communicated harmoniously. However, communication between them has frayed because sin has come into the world which brings along all sorts of conflict and miscommunication.
To expound further on the difference in the design of man and woman, Dr. Tibbs mentioned that in the bible, God made the first man, Adam, and tasked him to work and keep the garden of Eden. Not only that, but God also made the first woman, Eve, later on as a helper for man in completing his tasks. Hence, men are dominant in the relationship and the roles should not be reversed because that would only create a mess. A gardening analogy for this would be that the man’s role is to plant the seed while the woman helps man by nurturing the seed.
By knowing all this, men and women have to be patient and considerate with one another on the basis of Colossians 3:13, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive”. Only then a relationship will thrive and stay harmonious. Kimberly also mentioned that relationships today are based on fear as couples often threaten one another in their relationship. However, when fear is used as a method of communication, love is being cast out of the relationship which goes against scripture because a relationship should be rooted in love. Hence, it is important to prioritize togetherness rather than self-desires so that the circle can be completed.
Moving on, Pastor Tibbs also provided a trick to prevent arguments which is to not keep an account of wrongdoings. The tip is to avoid saying these words: always, ever, never, every, every time. The reason would be that these words are usually words to accuse someone of their wrongdoings which in turn leads to heated arguments. For instance, “You never make breakfast” or “You don’t ever hold my hand”. Hence, everyone should use their words wisely to connect the dots as words may make or break a relationship.
Lastly, people’s minds are constantly being fed with bad examples by watching shows aired on television or scrolling through their social media feeds. Hence, it is easy to get influenced by them and it will affect how one behaves in a relationship as what is being watched gets into the soul.
With all that said, Dr. Tibbs and Kimberly hoped that the sermon was helpful to those who are struggling in their relationships and that their relationship will reset to a more complete one.
Written by: Wu Wen Qi Edited by: Gan Pei Zoe
Disclaimer: All opinions reported from this webinar do not reflect Sunway Echo Media’s stance in any form.