Survivor’s Guilt


I feel so lost and empty, I don’t know why 

Oracles are murky, fuzzy, coy, unclear

None of the things I want to realize is near 

Lately, the world seems to be in chaos, misery

You only need to turn on the news to see 

Alas, I wake up every day, the same, the same 

Suffering, smiling, going through my day, insane 

Knuckle through life, they say, you will be dead one day 

Free yourself, it won’t matter,  keep those thoughts at bay

Only… I keep losing sleep over the small things

Reality at my door, I’ve opened my eyes

You’ve heard of the struggles, I know you did, liar 

Obey your overlord, obey your desire

Upset when the whole world sees all your lies

The hospital must have been worth the world on fire

Originally here to save us, not kill us 

So many died alone and many more will too 

Already not sleeping, now my friend is not safe 

Visualize this, sleeping under the gunfires

Earshot grapevine, heard they sent them seafood, it’s true

Teary laments, no numb to it, ignore it

Heard the same things too many times, too many times

Empathy, bled it dry, can’t feel it anymore

Whirlpool of emotions, non-stop inside my head

Overindulging in useless things, distraction

Restless, I sit in front of my screen, powerless 

Landlocked, lust for life, all I want to do is dance

Desperate, seeking to be free of all the guilt 

Lost in the algorithm, lost in dog videos, cat videos

Easily sidetracked, but not easily fooled

Turns out, you cannot tune it out so easily

Migraines when I am not distracted, disturbed

Electronics buzzing in the background, sleep mode

Longing for the day where we can all live in peace

Immediately pulling their bootstraps to help out

Vowing to protect their nest, still young, still naive

Eager are the young ones, eager to be free

Goodness is in your heart, don’t ignore it please

Ultraviolence while others are playing dodgeball

Immortal sprouts seeded when the chaos started

Lost to time and short attention span, forgotten

Too normal, almost like nothing ever happened…

False hopes, they’re radio silent, where are you

Reality was always cruel… never this real…

Evenings filled with music notes, slowly going to sleep

Even if tomorrow never comes, please save me

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