Real or Not Real

by Tiffany Hoo
Contrary to popular belief, love at first sight doesn’t exist. Infatuation perhaps, but certainly not love. This statement may not settle well with most of you, but hear me out on what I have to say. Mainstream media has convinced us to believe that love is instinctive, or better phrased as, a ‘gut feeling’ you have when you set your sight on ‘the one’. It is this feeling that eventually drives us to pursue that person because you ‘know’ that this person will be your significant other. However a problem arises when this sense of ‘knowing’ diminishes and fades away with the passage time. You begin to perceive your relationship in a different light and conclude to yourself that this is a sign that you made a mistake in choosing your partner and eventually walk away from your relationship.
Love in reality, is so much more than a mere emotion. Love is action. It is a test of tolerance, of being able to withstand the hardships that life decides to throw at you in order to break apart your relationship.
Love is about being committed to one another. Commitment doesn’t entail having to constantly be by each other’s side at all times. It means prioritising your partner and cherishing the bonds you both share, even if you aren’t able to see each other every day. It’s about looking past each other’s weaknesses and embracing both your partner’s strengths and shortcomings. I’m sure we can all appreciate the fact that no one is perfect, we are humans after all. Often times, it is these weaknesses and shortcomings we possess that give rise to conflicts which threaten the very foundation of a relationship.  If such a situation arises and a confrontation ensues, examine your own self and discuss with your partner of the matter which is upsetting the both of you. This shows that you are committed to your relationship enough to set aside your differences and solve the issues at hand for the sake of your beloved.
Moreover, love is also about being willing to make sacrifices, just to see a smile across your better half’s face. You have to be willing to invest your time and energy in order to maintain your relationship, without hoping for anything in return. After all, actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t mean having to devote all your time and energy to your partner. There is no doubt that there will be various commitments that need to be attended to apart from your partner. However, in a relationship, it is a must to go the extra mile to make sure your partner feels loved and cared for. Neglect could be the worst emotion experienced, especially during a relationship and that could very well destroy the trust your partner has in you.
In conclusion, love is better understood through experience, rather than being defined. I dare not say that love doesn’t exist because it truly does. Love involves heart, soul and mind which makes it all the more magical of a phenomenon. Essentially, to understand whether the love you have for a person is real or not, it all depends on you. So, is it Real or Not Real?