By: Amirah Farzana

Foreword:

Mad world – Gary Jules

The Truth – 36 Questions

Moving On is Never Easy

Little things remind me of friends I once had.

I look at the restaurant sign and hear her voice;

“This is my favourite place to eat dinner”.

I see a video and remember someone else;

“I think you might like this show”.

I see in my dreams their silent signs of our love remaining;

But we are better off strangers now.

I just felt, for a moment, 

That I should be merciful and give them grace.

But it was a dream.

In reality, 

Someone was sending a vicious stare

And someone was smiling in their face. 

Suddenly they were blown away like sand, 

Leaving me in the debris of their existence, in my memories. 

I find myself having felt the wave

Of new and old

And new again.

Some of them came into my life and became the best thing that ever happened to me. 

But came a sudden shift in the tectonic plates of our oceans.

I felt it raging inside.

A tsunami was going to hit me anyway,

Where was there to run and hide?

The new didn’t

Just

Become old. 

Waves could have ripped my skin and crashed my bones, 

Punched my lungs and stole the light.

Moving on is not easy.

People come and go like waves.

The new come, and then they leave. 

The old now. 

The new became the old. 

How do I move on to the new again? 

I wish I could close my eyes, 

The sun feeling just right on my face,

Pushing one leg against the wall of a swimming pool

Launching myself into the exciting journey 

To a floating moment of peace and serenity.

I could hear myself breathe.

I felt I could hear secrets of the underworld 

Yet be still

Being in between two worlds

Like I was some transient being

As I felt waves gently lulling me

Side to side. 

It was a moment of letting life lead me wherever. 

It was waves

Of new and old, 

And new again, 

That I allowed.

Moving on is never easy. 

“I trusted you.”

Waves,

Push and pull.

Wind,

Comes and goes. 

The feeling that you are having the best moments in your life

With the best people that ever happened to you;

You deserve to feel it again

And again

And again

And again,

With the right people.

The Right and Wrong People;

Oases and Oceans;

Disillusions and Illusions;

Again,

And again,

And again,

We fall into lies, mistakes,

Misunderstandings and madness.

In the end, we are all Human. 

Trust is diamond, trust is glass,

Precious and rare.
Never owed but must be earned,

Handle with care.

Regret spills and spreads like blood as soon as the shattering shrills rankle our ears,

But none of our tears would piece back what is broken.

Let the motions of the waves move through us,

Let it wipe our blood and wash our tears away;

Move on, move forward, move when we can.

Everyone deserves a second chance,

And a second chance needs time. 

Give them grace,

Give yourselves grace;

It should be “I feel…you did…”,

Not “I feel…he did…” or “I feel…she did…”,

Neither should it be “He feels…you did…” or “She feels…you did…”.

Apology is changed behaviour in a world where words are wind.

Was that really who I was and who I want to be?

Accept that all of us have our good, our bad, and our ugly,

But it’s never too late to set yourself free.

Moving on is never easy.

From your mistakes, 

From betrayal,

Or from the past.

But in the end, we are all humans.

What is done, is done.

The only way is forward,

Back home,

To your heart, even the darkest parts.

Even with fear, explore that darkness

With grace as a gift and honesty in return.

Reflect, ponder, accept or let it linger:

Why is the heart angry,

Why is the heart sad,

Who does the heart want to be,

And what would make it smile to say “I’m glad”? 

Epilogue:

“And sometimes the truth isn’t always for the better”

—-The Truth, 36 Questions

GIF by Amirah Farzana

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